Moxiemo here with this week's recap.
Well, at least this episode was better than the fuckery of last week's episode.
We open with the only nod to the books Alan Ball and company have given us plot-wise this season: the random attacks on shifters. Unfortunately, it's one of the story lines I care about the least.
“You think this is all gonna stop?” Supe-hater says to Sam as Andy hauls him away in handcuffs.
“Shut up butt plug,” The Sheriff retorts. Oh thanks Andy, for that image.
Sam and Luna argue about how to deal with shifter-killers. Now that Sam is an honorary detective “he’s on it.”
“This is fucking ridiculous.” Luna says after he leaves. I know, Luna, believe me, I know.
Then Luna contorts in pain, gets a little glow-y, and shifts.
Why does Luna get slimy when she turns into Sam? Ewwww.
“Fuck me” Sam/Luna says. But all I can think is "fuck me." Don't get me wrong. It was funny last season when Sam Trammell played Tommy-as-Sam. I guess the writers thought he did such a good job he should do it again. I'm surprised they remembered back that far to revisit that skinwalker story from the previous season. Not that I really care about it.
Oh, I still enjoy the opening credits. The kids smearing berries on their faces are my favorite part. And grandma loves the opening song. She sings along. It's so cute!
We're back at The Authority HQ as the high-as-fuck vampires stumble out of the elevator. Everyone's happy except for Eric. Godric ruined his high, as daddies tend to do, as anyone who has ever come home from a high school party to find their dad waiting up for them knows.
Did you catch Russell slapping Steve's ass? I SHIP RUSSELL AND STEVE SO HARD.
I love this shot of Bill and Salome in the foreground, and Eric alone and confused and dejected in the background.
"What just happened" Eric asks a giddy Bill.
"We were high as fucking kites."
Cue Sookie’s lightning bolts! We're back in the yard as Sookie continues to light up the sky as if no one will notice.
Jason runs over to stop her, and she zaps him, but it's okay, because she just gets him in the head. Seriously, if this voltage can knock down a vampire, how is it that Jason survives?
Jason asks her what in the hell she's doing.
"I’m dumping all my fairy light!" She says. She's tired of being a freak.
This makes me SO sad. What I loved about Book!Sookie is that she had such a strong sense of self. She listened to everyone think she was a freak from the time she was a little girl, but still had a sense of self worth. She didn't celebrate her telepathy—it complicated her life quite a bit—but she didn't hate herself for it.
Jason is at least going to act big-brotherly and talk her out of it.
"If you were normal, you wouldn’t have met Bill! That was real love! Plus you talked to dead people including our grandmother! That don’t happen to normal folks!"
Oh, back to Luna/Sam.
STILL DON’T CARE.
Cue Fangtasia scene.
Yes, Jess. Focus on the sexy girl. No milkshake blood for you. It’s a trap! Even I can tell!
As quickly as we got there, we're pulled out of Fangtasia as Jessica is pulled off by creepy-obviously-a-supe-hater-guy. Now we're back in The Authority HQ.
“God has the most beautiful tits I’ve ever seen,” Russell says. Seriously Russell, I'll let you have a pass on that since you’re gay, but I have to break it to you: Lilith's tits (and perfectly symmetrical wax job) were not that sexy. My tits are better that hers (just ask Mister BS).
Who is this childkiller and why is he a part of the show? Also, is black authority vamp hooking up with Southern bitch authority vamp? Can these guys really be important if I don't even know their names?
And don't forget:
And a baby you shall have, fuckedupface guy, because apparently the new agenda of The Authority is to get all vampires staked in their sleep.
Also, Steve and Russell, I totally ship you. Also, Steve's sweater is so full of win.
Eric looks to Bill like they are bros…dude I gave you a piggy back ride…we’re together, right?
But no, Bill's going to hang out for a while. Eric leaves. Nora fans her fingers in goodbye, seemingly without regret.
Oh, Alcide is sexing his new beta. Do we even know her name? Bored. Bored. Bored. Growling. Grunting.
Maybe it's just me, but I just don't find that sexy, at all.
“This doesn’t mean I’m you’re girlfriend.”
“ I don’t remember asking.”
“Are you my girlfriend?”
ARE WE IN HIGH SCHOOL? I'm okay with sex scenes, if they advance the plot. This seems to be randomly inserted to show Alcide's ass. I'll include it here for those that enjoy that sort of thing.
We're back to The Authority HQ.
“You rang.”Bill says as he walks into Salome's lair.
“Oh, I thought you’d want a late night snack. We did gorge on innocent people hours earlier, after all. Surely you’re still peckish," is basically what Salome says. Plus this: “Lilith commanded you drink this girl!”
“I will not be bullied!” Bill says, and proceeds to be bullied.
Cue the flashback! Bill refuses to turn his dying daughter, even though he felt the need to visit her and make her cry.
But it doesn't matter. Bill is Salome's new pet parrot.
Hoyt is back in flannel!
I’m actually quite moved by the conflict between Hoyt and Jessica. This feels like what True Blood should be. Real life drama amplified.
"So, why don't you love me anymore?"
"I wanted to love you. I even prayed for it to come back. It just didn't."
That's realistic, meaningful dialogue. These supernatural elements, when used properly, serve as a metaphor for real life experiences. At it's best, True Blood has the power to hold a mirror to life and reflect it back to us, with equal parts humor and angst. They just choose not to do that all that often.
Back in fairyland...
"Bull-hockey," Sookie says, and it's so nice to hear NOT cussing coming from her.
“Our families our connected," Claude explains, and Jason is hell-bent on finding out who killed their parents, and since Claudette says she knows how they can help, everyone agrees to meet at the bridge where Jason and Sookie's parents were murdered. Sounds like a lovely family picnic to me.
I know, I'm on my third glass of wine, and we haven't even made it through all the storylines once yet. Lafayette's up next.
Everyone keeps vampire blood in their first aid kit.
That is some magic lip balm you got there, Laf.
Cue the picnic! And we get a bonus—science lesson from fairies!
And we're seeing the flashback through Sookie's eyes.
This is when I asked everyone on Twitter to guess the killer! Mister BS and grandma both think it's Russell, but I think that's lame. We already had a Russell-killed-my-parents revenge story line, and even if we're redoing the religious hate thing, I can't believe they'd recycle that.
Others zeroed in on Claudine's words, when she said something like "leave the girl alone warlo!" There was speculation that it was a yet to be introduced vampire, perhaps Sophie Ann's child Waldo, from the books. A solid theory.
But I'm going to play devil's advocate here, and guess that it was Eric. Now, it was mentioned that Eric seemed surprised to learn that Sookie was a fairy. But I don't think the vampire that killed Sookie's parents had to know he was attracted by fairy blood. Also, Sookie inhabited the vampire's mind (which is going to piss off "the Elders", and if they introduce Niall, he god damn better be portrayed by David Bowie).
Since Claude said the reason Sookie could access her mom's thoughts due to their connection, it leads me to believe that Sookie has a connection to the vampire that killed her parents. That means Bill or Eric. Since Bill is being the bad guy in the Authority story line, I don't think that Alan Ball would allow him to be the villain that killed Sookie's parents. And it's just the perfect kind of angst to have it be Eric, who Sookie does have feelings for, and who is still hung up on her (Bill seems to have moved on, at least to me).
So that's my guess and reasoning. Be sure to weigh in with your opinion in the comments, because this is the only fun thing to speculate about, in my opinion.
Others thought it might be Godric, which explains the blood connection (maybe) and I can kinda see that in the pictures (admittedly, they don't look much like Eric, now that I'm seeing the screencaps, but I still think that would make for a good story, if we have to go the who-is-the-vampire-that-killed-my-parents route).
Lafayette can't even get in his house to take a shower before he is bombarded by Arlene and Holly, who are requesting his medium services to pretend to contact the spirit of the woman who cursed Terry and Patrick and get her to call it off.
"Ciao, bitches.” You earned your blunt and bubble bath, Lafayette, even if your character is kinda getting on my nerves this season.
We're back at Fangtasia, and at least Pam didn't crimp her hair.
Some bitch Tara knew from high school is at the bar, and even though Pam decided Tara was better at dancing than serving drinks, she's waiting on the pink dress princess.
Tara is quick to show fangs, which seems like an appropriate response for the kind of insults this girl was flinging at her.
But Pam intervenes, for the sake of the bar of course, and gives Miss Pink her strawberry daiquiri on the house.
Back to the werewolves. I thought the packmaster showdown scenes in the books were fascinating in a morbid kind of way. The fight to the death, fuck a girl when you win thing was definitely creepy. I'm not sure that Alan Ball and friends needed to make it worse by having them hunt a human. Though, it occurred to me this the kid might be the one who needed Andy to fix his speeding ticket at the beginning of the season. At least that scene isn't going the way of the HS quarterback, which is to say a complete waste of time with no connection to a larger story.
Alcide is really angry about this killing a human business, even though his maybe-girlfriend is saying he can't back down.
There are some other scenes that are "important" but my notes are getting confusing (it's the wine, dude, but you can't blame me for drinking while doing this). Plus the screencaps I'm getting are in random order, so I'm just going to insert them here.
During the interrogation, Andy goes to get coffee, and honorary detective Merlotte turns into a snake to scare the witness.
They find out that the other supe-haters have Jessica, and go to bust her out. Meanwhile, Hoyt is out walking alone and gets picked up by someone as he "goes for help."
She is cool with living with the curse if Terry kills Patrick (or Arlene, if I caught that right?) and Patrick makes a run for it.
So, apparently it's late enough that Fangtasia is closed up for the night. And surprise! They still have that dungeon in the basement of Fangtasia (I want to meet the contractor who made that happen in Louisiana. Also, the health inspector who is not bothered by it.)
Even though Tara got bitched out upstairs, that was all just an act.
Tara gets to munch on the bitch, because that's the kind of special treatment you get at Fangtasia. Also, I wonder why the Sanguinista movement isn't recruiting Pam? Because she sure says no to mainstreaming.
And Sam's calling himself handsome, and then Luna turns back into herself. Does this mean she's going to die? I can't remember.
And I'm going to wrap things up with Eric and Nora. She's being her crazy Lilith-worshipping self, praying to a bottle of what I'm guessing is fairy blood since everyone got so high on it, when Eric walks in looking all sexy.
Eric tells her how crazy all of this is.
But Nora doesn't seem to get it, and insults Godric when Eric explains that he appeared to him and asked him to get her back on the right path. Eric doesn't take kindly to anyone, even his sister, talking smack on Godric.
And even this face won't win over Nora.
Eric's on his own to fight the craziness that is the new Authority, which is all over Bill idea to bomb True Blood factories. When Eric asks him what the fuck he's thinking, he says "he's evolving."
So I think I got it all in there, but there is so much shit going on, it's entirely possible that I missed a scene or three.
Now the real question is...who was working at Merlotte's? Because Sam, Sookie, Lafayette, Arlene, Terry, and Holly were all busy.
So I bet most people who don't follow spoilers religiously like me just assumed the song that this week's episode was named for was Gotye's song by the same name. Which I like, but even though I don't listen to the radio I'm still kinda sick of it (even though I have Gotye tickets for September). I was pleasantly surprised to hear Elliot Smith as the credits ran. My emo heart loves me some Elliot Smith, and this song spoke to many of the themes (where they existed) of the show.
That's all for me this week, folks. Until August 12 you can find me complaining each week and get insights from Mister BS and grandma by following me on twitter: @moxiemollymo.
Thanks to Tradermare for pointing me here, which is where I got most of the screencaps. Memes by Mister BS.
Moxiemo for the