Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A Bookie Weighs In Recap Contest

Announcing A New Kind of Contest 
That Just Requires You To Be Observant ...






Here's the jist:
Find the in-jokes. Closely examine the photos and graphics used for the past 12 episodes of season four I recapped here and list the references. Listen to the audio where reference is made to a TV show and list it too. Look for the material inside the photos that shouldn't be there. There's a lot of them and they were included in every episode.

I am seeking references to movies, TV shows or other forms of entertainment.


Here's the prize:
1st Prize is either an autographed hardcover copy of Charlaine Harris' SVM book 11 (Dead Reckoning) or an autographed 8x10 photo of Alexander Skarsgard as Eric (certificate of authenticity will be included). Winner's choice.


Here's a list of the URLs for each episode I recapped this season:
 Episode 01
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/06/shes-not-there-s4e01.html
Episode 02
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/07/you-smell-like-dinner-s4e02.html
Episode 03
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/07/if-you-love-me-why-am-i-dyin-s4e03.html
Episode 04
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/07/im-alive-and-on-fire-s4e04.html
Episode 05
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/07/me-and-devil-s4e05.html
Episode 06
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/08/i-wish-i-was-moon-s4e06.html
Episode 07
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/08/cold-grey-light-of-dawn-s4e07.html
Episode 08
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/08/spellbound-s4e08.html
Episode 09
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/08/lets-get-out-of-here-s4e09.html
Episode 10
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/08/burning-down-house-s4e10.html
Episode 11
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/09/soul-of-fire-s4e11.html
Episode 12
http://www.thesookieverse.com/2011/09/and-when-i-die-s4e12.html

Here's The Deadline:
October 15, 2011, midnight Bon Temps time (Central Daylight Time)

Here's the Place to Send Your Entries:
Submissions should be sent to us at thesookieverse@gmail.com

Here's The Rules:
  • 1 Entry Per Person
  • The person finding the most hidden elements and correctly identifying them wins. In the event of a tie, the winner will be selected by blood type.
  • Judge's decision is final. Don't piss off the Magister! Threats of silvering are welcome.
  • No member of HBO or True Blood production affiliation is welcome ... just because.
  • Cheaters will be bitten and drained.
  • Use of V or witchcraft to improve your chances is strictly forbidden.
  • The use of the Imperius Curse to control the judges is also forbidden.
Enjoy and remember ... really examine the graphics or you won't see all the elements. Feel free to ask questions by posting anonymously (you can add your name to the post before you submit it). If you have trouble posting, be sure your browser accepts third party cookies.

This is nycsnowbird ...

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Weekly Challenges

WEEKLY ONE SHOT CHALLENGES OF 2011
Week 40
For Week Ending: Sunday, October 2
Theme:
Give Eric a pet.


Weekly Hans von Hozel Challenge
Week 12
For week ending: Sunday, October 2
Theme:
Vikings





Saturday, September 17, 2011

Weekly Challenges



WEEKLY ONE-SHOT CHALLENGES OF 2011
Week 39
For Week Ending: Sunday, September 25
Theme:
A real man doesn’t love a million girls. He loves one girl in a million ways.

Weekly Hans von Hozel Challenge
Week 11
For week ending: Sunday, September 25
Theme:
Quinn






Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Eric & Sookie Halloween Fic Exchange



Hi friends! It's makesmyheadspin blogging on behalf of the lovely TVGirl, who handed over the keys to the kingdom so I could post this little entry. A few years back, before I was aware that fanfiction.net existed (shocking, I know!) or the Sookieverse, for that matter, I was a big livejournal whore. The eric_sookie community there hosted a fic exchange for Halloween and I signed myself up for it. It was all kinds of fun to do and I was thinking maybe it was time to give that another shot.

What is a fix exchange you ask? It's very simple. First and foremost, this is NOT a contest. All you have to do if you're interested in participating is drop an email to the gmail account created for this event and let us know what YOU are willing to write, as well as what you want to RECEIVE from another author. We will compile all the information we get and then match people up accordingly. You'll have almost the entire month of October to write and all submissions will need to be returned to us no later than October 28th so that we have time to post them. Does that make sense?

It's a pretty simple process and of course, you can PM/email myself, or my partner in crime for this event MissyDee if you have any further questions.


THE REQUESTS:

Eric and Sookie are spending Halloween together. How you want to see them celebrate is entirely up to you.


1. Start your email by leaving your email address so we know where to send your assignment request. Remember to spell it out like this: youremailhere at whatever dot com.

2. Specify if you want your fic to be Bookverse or Showverse.

3. State what rating you would like your fic to be.

4. Give us a general idea of what you want to be your fic to be about. This shouldn't be any longer than a simple sentence. (i.e. Sookie and Eric attend a costume party together, Sookie and Eric go out to Fangtasia for the night, etc.)

5. List 3 specific things you would like to see in your fic. This can vary to just about anything. Some examples would be candy corn, angst, Sookie in a red dress, Pam being sarcastic, etc.

6. After you finish compiling your request, we would also like you to state what type of fic you would be most comfortable writing. Showverse vs. Bookverse, Angst vs. Romance, if you are squeamish about writing sex, etc. We want to make sure everyone is happy with and able to fulfill the request they are given to write as well as receiving their fic as a gift. However, if you're up for writing anything, please state that instead.




IMPORTANT DATES FOR YOU TO KNOW:


September 20-25: Sign-up time.
September 28-30: Assignments go out.
October 1-27: Writing time.
October 28: Deadline to have fics submitted.
October 29-31: Fics are posted to our profile.




FIC SUBMISSION RULES:


1. All fics must be beta-read.

2. All fics must be at least 1000 words in length and complete.

3. All fics must be the original work of the writer. If you use something creatively like a quote or lyrics to a song, make sure it is credited properly in the disclaimer. Plagiarism will not be tolerated.

4. Until the fics are posted to our profile and we reveal the master list, you cannot archive your fic elsewhere. We really want everyone to be surprised and this would defeat the purpose of keeping it anonymous.

5. I know this goes without saying, but I'm putting it here just in case. If you're writing or requesting an R or NC-17 fic, you must be 18 years of age or older. No exceptions.

6. To submit your fic when you're ready, you will need to email it READY FOR POSTING to ericandsookieficexchange (at) gmail (dot) com and we will be posting them in our profile in the days leading up to Halloween.

7. Before you sign up or after you get your assignment, you are welcome to private message or email makesmyheadspin or MissyDee to clarify anything further.

The following must be included in your sign up email:

Username:
Email address:

Your Request
Bookverse/Showverse:
Rating:
General Idea/Prompt:
3 Specific Things:

What You Can Write
Bookverse/Showverse:
Rating (up to):
What are you comfortable with (genre, squicks, etc):


That's it. I hope this will be an experience that everyone will enjoy and something we might do again while True Blood and the Southern Vampire Mysteries are ongoing. This is NOT a contest, just an exchange and a way to play together since we all play with the same toys. The last thing we have to ask of you is to spread the word to all the Eric/Sookie shippers you know. Remember, the more requests we get, the more fics will be written for everyone to admire.


Happy writing, lovers!

And When I Die S4E12



Let's have hands raised. How many of us are not going to be tuning in to season 5? I can't be alone in my contempt. Are you, like me, tired? Disappointed? I've stopped being hopeful. My time is too valuable to waste on this drek any longer.

And When I Die (aka ... Bitch, Please!)
Written By Raelle Tucker


I ended last week's recap with a warning—Jesús should be a light sleeper. Marnie was gunning for him, or rather, his magic. As he contemplates their life together without the use of it, he fails to see that his lover is not himself. No mascara, no eyeshadow, no special attention to his hair; the clues are there if he was of a mind to recognize them. It's Marnie who never needed them but who instead needs the power of Jesús' dark magic over those she would get revenge against. Which kinda sorta now sounds like everyone. 

Jesús missed the biggest clue. Victoria7401 on the Sookieverse thread pointed out that not once does Lafayette say, 'Bitch, Please!' 

Embodied inside Lafayette, she stabs him through the hand and he shrieks in pain and shock. I guess he's only used to forking in bed.


Meanwhile, Sookie is having some morning coffee with Tara who has stayed the night. She hasn't slept at all, telling Tara her nerves are shot. After a flashback of Gran lying in a pool of her own blood on the kitchen floor scares her (using the very same shot from Cold Ground, 1x06), she confides to Tara that Marnie had channeled Gran. Gran warned her about Antonia (but without specifics enough to stop her pigheaded granddaughter from going too near the establishment just a few days later) [and note—Gran warned her about MARNIE, not Antonia, for the record] and warned her not to give her heart to Eric ... or the power of attorney to Jason. Tara thinks at least the concern about Eric was sensible advice and quirks a grin. 

She thinks Gran is about and asks an atheist Tara if she thinks she's in heaven. Up comes that nostalgic Gran theme under their conversation and they consider what Gran might say were she around. Wear more sunscreen; be good to each other; Tara go back to NOLA; Sookie get a decent job; there are weeds on my grave, pull the damned things. And then the woman who drops more F-bombs in a single episode than I can count says, "and stop getting into so much dang trouble." Oh isn't she so precious?


As the lazy music plays underneath this waste of time dialog, Sookie says she can see herself old, sitting on the porch with her grand babies on her lap and there isn't a bookie who isn't wincing. Tara wants in on the fantasy, saying she hopes to sit on that porch with her someday eating all of Sookie's ice cream and inviting every dreg of the earth into Sookie's home. Figuring Tara's dead end life, she probably will because she will undoubtedly be unemployed leeching off Sookie. Now in MOST movies and TV, with every moment counting, you can examine a moment like this and wonder what the subtext is. What are we supposed to get from it? I am figuring they want us to think it's a final girl moment between the two friends.


Poor Tommy. So he does get a simple burial and a funeral no one attends. Sam is standing at the grave site when Maxine approaches, a basket of flowers in her hand. "He was a devious sonofabitch," she offers, "but somewhere in there he had a good heart." She smiles up at Sam who is very touched she has come. 


She relates that Tommy had told her the best thing that ever happened to him was Sam shooting him because it brought him to her and the Lord. Sam should have given him the goddamned money Tommy was trying to steal away. Sam didn't intend to use it and it would have given Tommy a redo on his short, abysmal life.


She confides to Sam that he stole a bunch of her clothes and jewelry and a pair of her underpants. Maxine! Waaaaay TMI! I threw this last screenshot in just because I love this actress's facial expressions. Dale Raoul has had some good moments this season, my favorite being her impersonation of Tommy.

Notice nothing is mentioned of the check Tommy got from the prospector. Wonder what happened to that chunk of change. Sam is saying nothing so I am assuming it wasn't in Tommy's things. If it hasn't been cashed, Maxine might still be able to get her hands on the money when they start plumbing her property. 

"Nobody taught Tommy how to love somebody without hurting them," Sam manages grimly, and admits he let him down too. Big time, Sam. Maxine offers to bring him by one of her famous pork rind casseroles (what? no Snickers and hot sauce?) and when he starts to object, she declares Tommy was like a son to her and she wants Sam to call her momma from now on, seeing as they're kind of a family now.


As she leaves, Sam sniffs the air, catching the Eau de Skinwalker scent of Luna and her daughter, dressed alike, approach to give their sympathies. Sam has no trouble reaching out to Luna. That hug would have meant a lot to Maxine who at least knew Tommy. Sam never changes.


Meanwhile, Jason has decided to confess to Hoyt. We all knew this insanity was coming. Jason needs to be forgiven but Hoyt is not about to forgive with the pain of Jessica's departure still so raw for him. What is Jason thinking? Oh wait, this is Jason. He never does.


I laughed thinking only Jason would tell a man that he's fucking his girlfriend while said man is holding a chainsaw. Fortunately, Jason gets him to put it down before addressing him. Which is good because when Hoyt asks him how, Jason elaborates on the various positions before Hoyt nails him in the face and says everything we're already thinking.


He broke a code. Jason could have anyone he wanted. Hoyt isn't Jason and Jessica was it for him. Jason searches around for something to say and blurts out that he drank her blood and became obsessed with her. He tried to fight it but it just happened. Hoyt hauls off and hits him in the face again. "It doesn't just happen. You make choices. You make fucked up, selfish-piece-of-shit choices." As Jason lies on the ground, Hoyt comes up with a swift kick to the groin and Jason writhes in pain. Hoyt tells him nothing is more important to Jason than his dick, even his best friend. Jason will never have what Hoyt had with Jessica—or with anyone else—because something inside of him is missing. Hoyt grabs up the chainsaw and departs as Jason mumbles a soft, "Sorry." 

Jason, we know you ain't.


We are supposed to believe Marnie has somehow overpowered Jesús and has him bound in duct tape to a chair inside Lafayette's home. Wouldn't you think in a fight between them Jesús might have the upper hand? He's wiry, he's shown himself to be good in a fight. Yet he is easily taken down by a Marnified Lafayette. I don't buy it. I also don't buy that the hand that was forked is bleeding like it is after the effort that has been made to secure him. Time has passed. The bleeding would have ebbed. But back to the binding ... seriously, what did she do? Knock him out? How does a woman get a man to sit in a chair while she binds him in duct tape for nefarious reasons? I can't get past the implausibility of this. Further, look closely at this binding. He couldn't claw at the tape with his good hand? It's not even binding his chest, for God's sake. He could fall out of the chair and twist free. This is insane!


Marnie is angry that Jesús took Antonia away from him, that she trusted him as a friend and he betrayed her. Jesús accuses Marnie of not wanting to fight a righteous war but only make a grab for power. Lafayette makes a pathetic attempt to regain control of himself but Marnie is stronger and threatens him with pain that she won't feel but he will if he doesn't settle back down. She uses Jesús' love for Lafayette against him. In the measure of his love, he doesn't want Laf hurt, he will do what she asks and Marnie tells him she wants his blood, all of it, to possess the magic passed down to him by his grandfather.


Sookie is walking into Merlotte's. We never actually find out why. She doesn't work there, is she there to have lunch? She's approached immediately by Arlene and Terry who are dressed up as ghouls for Halloween. "We're zombies," Arlene explains, "zombies are the new vampires." My blood runs cold. Is this more teasers for what's ahead for the show? From Arlene, Sookie discovers Tommy has died and goes to console Sam in his office.


Sam is reading over Tommy's letter to him he never finished as Sookie enters. She apologizes for not being there at the funeral and says being fired had nothing to do with not being there for him. Sam is confused until Sookie elaborates and Sam realizes it was Tommy skinwalking as him. "I wasn't myself that day," he admits, by way of limp explanation. He wants bygones to be bygones and Sookie is given her job back.


Since she's tossed her uniform, she needs another. But not on Halloween. Sam pulls a pair of rabbit ears from a box of props and hands it to a protesting Sookie. He dons a captain's hat on and admonishes her. "You want your job back or not?" and Sookie grins, telling him she's going to get him for this. Someday. Somehow.


We're back with Marnified Lafayette and Jesús. Marnie is lighting candles, telling Jesús that vampires have demonized the Wiccans' most sacred Sabbat (Samhain aka Halloween), turning their religion into a joke. Jesús agrees. He wants Marnie to let go of Lafayette. He is not a host for her. She needs to let go. We're only 17 minutes into the show, there's not going to be any letting go this soon. 


She annoints her forehead with a thumb sized mark of Jesús' blood. "You can't trade magic like fucking Pokeman cards!" Jesús protests. I don't know about that, the holographic ones were highly collectible trade items, as I recall. 

He doesn't know how to give Marnie the magic inside him and tells her she should be afraid because what's inside of him is seriously dark. He tells her she's turned into everything that she hates, that everyone fears her, even more than the vampires.

Tastes like chicken!
She forces Jesús to bring forth his demon (remember how long it took just last night? This time it's an absolutely zippy process!) and then stabs him in the chest with the knife, taking a long lick of his blood off it. 


Mortally wounded, Jesús gazes at a demonized Marnie and whispers that he's sorry before slumping over. I'm sorry to see this character go but he, too, has exhausted his story arc. Ball doesn't want HEAs, for one, and two, nothing more was built into Jesús than the fact he was a brujo. Without a witch war, there is no reason for his presence any longer.


Toby and Lisa are eating lunch at Merlotte's in Halloween garb. Lisa is, unbelievably, dressed as a white-trash pregnant teen from an MTV show. She steals one of Toby's fries and Arlene has to break up a fight warning them if they don't stop arguing they're going to be trick or treating down at the trailer park getting empty Coors cans and food stamps again. This is beyond ugly. This isn't even funny. And, I know I'm being pedantic here, but what state still distributes food stamps in a coupon-like manner? I thought the changeover to a credit card type exchange was across the country years ago. Anyway, UGLY. UGLY. UGLY. So not funny.


Sam comes by with Emma in a princess veil and Mardi Gras beads and informs Arlene she's going to be either a shapeshifter like her mom or a werewolf like her dad. Isn't she just endearingly so precocious?


A character from season 5 makes his entrance. It's Terry's war buddy, Sergeant Patrick Devins, and he explains he was just passing through Bon Temps and thought to look Terry up. I won't even ask why anyone would pass through Bon Temps and where they'd be on their way to from there. It's so off the map, why bother?


Terry is happy to introduce Arlene to his buddy and we find out Terry saved Patrick twice although I didn't miss the look of confusion in Terry's eyes when he said so. The two men retreat to the bar to talk over old times. There's a story there about those heroics and maybe Patrick is more than he appears to be. Oh hell, this is True Blood. He's probably a were or shapeshifter or maybe he makes a mean roast meat tree kabob himself.


The camera follows Sookie who deposits a tall glass of beer in front of Alcide who sits forlornly at the bar. Sookie is surprised to hear Alcide and Debbie have broken up. "But she's changed!" she protests. "People don't change," he grits, "they only find new ways to lie." 

He wants Sookie to reconsider her words (from the previous season) when she said if she was smart she'd have fallen in love with someone like him. Pardon me, but what does he see in her? From his view, this is a vamp loving gal who is always up to her neck in trouble with their shit. Too, they haven't shared the experiences in Charlaine Harris' CLUB DEAD that solidify an attraction to each other. Besides ... just look at him! He could have anyone. 


"I'm done with the drama. I want you to be done with it too." 

I've always liked Alcide. It's unfortunate Charlaine has painted him as such a buffoon in her last book. Sookie tells him that she can't change who she loves, Lord knows she's tried, she confides and I grimace. WHEN has she tried? WHEN has she given herself a minute to sit still and plot out an iota of a life that is spent racing from one cliffhanger to another? This is a woman who appears to be hooked on the adrenalin rush this kind of lifestyle gives her. His iPhone goes off and he has to go. Sookie asks if there's anything she can do. Yeah, start thinking straight, Sookie. 


He tells her to think about it and not get herself killed. Is that a wolfish grin? Gahh.


Tara bounds up Lafayette's walk and finds Jesús slumped over dead, the house dim and the front door ajar (not in that order). What does she do?


Of course. 

I can go season to season, practically every couple of episodes and get similar shots of this poor girl screaming. Rutina must be so tired of the melodrama.

       EXT. LAFAYETTE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

       TARA runs up to LAFAYETTE'S front door, her HURRIED FOOTSTEPS 
       reverberating off the wood porch.

       TARA
                                        Lafayette? Jesús? Anybody here?

       She finds the front door open, the interior is dark. Her face is confused and anxious.

       TARA
                                        Hello?

       She starts to open the door. Fear is gripping her.

       TARA
                                        Lafayette?

       JESUS' slumped figure is revealed as the door swings wide. He is dead. 
       Terrified, Tara SCREAMS.


Episode after episode, all this actress has been required to do is either scream or bitch up a storm until all of us grew to hate her. How do you put that on a resume?

One more thing before I leave this scene. Pretend it's you, a normal human being, going up to your cousin's door. You find his lover dead, blood all over his chest. He's obviously a victim of foul play. Do you scream? HELL NO! The psycho that murdered the lover might be right behind the door, right? You don't alert them to your presence!

Sheesh!


Meanwhile, Sookie is lighting pumpkins at Merlotte's entrance. Why she waited till full dark is a mystery. Holly approaches in faery wings and Sookie, for a moment, is frightened. "I'm just a faery, honey," Holly soothes and goes to light a joint with the lighter Sookie has been using for the pumpkins. Smart. It's early evening, the restaurant must be in full swing, they're at the front entrance and she's lighting a joint?


It's a har har kind of moment but seriously, Holly looks nothing like a faery and it'd piss them off at the comparison. Holly is there to explain Samhain is the day where the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest according to the Wiccan religion. Of course, she pronounces it wrong. Did the writers do that deliberately or did they not know? IndigoBuni PM'd me that it's pronounced Sow-en. Thanks Buni! 

Holly confides that all day she's had a feeling of dread in her body and Sookie admits that she, too, has been dealing with the very same thing. Tara comes racing up in her car.

"She's back! Marnie! She killed Jesús," she sputters. "I think she's inside Lafayette."

Have I missed a couple of minutes here? Just HOW does Tara know all this? Did Marnie leave a note? Maybe a taunting message on the wall


 Wait, that's been done before ...


The three women are racing to Bill's house. Bill isn't answering his cell phone. Eric hasn't been at Fangtasia since the night before. Something's up and for some reason they think the answer is there. Up from Holly's pocketbook comes a container of salt. "I knew it was here somewhere," she says. She IS joking, right? Something that big could not possibly get lost in a pocketbook of any size!

Tara begs Sookie not to let "them" hurt him. She's worried if Bill and Eric find out Marnie is inside Lafayette, he'll be killed. Sookie frowns, she thinks they already know. 

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."
And here comes one the most unbelievable moments in the episode (there are two as far as I'm concerned, the other yet to come). The camera cuts to a sweep of Bill's lawn. Two of his guards are dead, one with a hatchet in his chest. Chained in silver, bare chested but surprisingly not smoking from the effects (don't ask), Eric and Bill are atop their own funeral pyre. Marnie ain't going down without some fireworks.

We're supposed to believe Marnie did all this herself? Even in the body of Lafayette, just how did she pull all this off? She's a woman who probably never raised her hand before this past week so where did she get the strength, the CUNNING, the gumption to do all this to two vampires, one who has been around for more than a thousand years? HOW? 

The two vamps, very much sangfroid, are arguing over who is going to summon which progeny to rescue them. Doing so would probably doom the woman so neither is willing. Eric points out that Bill is unwilling to sacrifice his own progeny but it's okay for Eric to do his. Bill retorts, "I liked you better when you were brain damaged."

I get it. I know why neither is willing to call their child. It's because they'd have to explain how they got taken by a middle aged woman and it's too embarrassing a story for either of them. The True Death is imminently more desirable than loss of face.

On cue, both men rasp, "Sookie!" and turn to see her, Tara and Holly running up to them.
   appropriate background music

Marnie suddenly appears in front of them. "What goes around, comes around, bitches," she says tautly. Tara begs Marnie not to do this and Marnie cannot believe her ears. After all they've done to her? Now it's time for some platitudes.

"Killing Bill and Eric isn't going to make any of that go away," Tara points out.
"Revenge will never bring you peace," Eric adds.
"There's no place like home," Glinda smiles encouragingly.


Oh please. You've got a deranged witch on your hands and this is all you can throw up against her? Holly starts to shake out a circle of table salt around the perimeter, chanting softly. Like Marnie wouldn't notice?!!! 


Bill effectively distracts Marnie so Holly can work unimpeded. Regardless, Marnie has had enough and with a wave of her arms, ignites the flames of the pyre. $3000 worth of designer Plantation shutters are going up in smoke ... wait, where the hell IS the smoke?

She's come an awfully long way from the woman who was thrilled to resurrect her parrot for mere seconds, hasn't she? That was what? A week ago? 

Sookie goes rushing in to stop this. Tara is concerned she'll hurt Lafayette but Sookie says she can't stand there and let them die.


She powers up her fae hands and shoots out at Marnie, throwing her/him to the ground as Holly works to complete the circle.


Marnie rises in demon form. (I have to tell you that even as I write this, I wince at the ridiculousness of it.) When I think Demon, I think Tim Curry in LEGEND. Now there's a scary demon. And hot as hell. No pun intended.


It looks like Marnie pulled every shutter off Bill's manse to build this pyre! Circle complete, Holly has the women join hands and they begin to chant. Marnie can't get across the circle of salt and rages in frustration.


Cute effect but if you look close, I think you can see a slip of his real tongue on the right. I don't know, this is the damned CULMINATION here. Season end. Couldn't they have done more than have a FABULOUS color-coordinated demon who isn't even remotely scary?

Surely they could have come up with something scarier.


 You vote.

   appropriate musical background 

They chant for spirits who watch over them to appear and the cemetery is alive with the walking dead. We see Gran's grave and her shroud as she, too, follows the summons. Sookie stares at Bill and Eric roasting (on an open fire). "Don't you die on me," she begs.


Marnie hears her name being called and turns to see the gathering from the cemetery. Closer, she hears another voice calling her. It's Antonia. "My sister," she says sweetly. Marnie is touched she came back. She's thinking they will re-team, and is horrified when Marnie blows out the flames of the pyre.


"All creatures have their purpose," Marnie says. Oh what the fuck! Are we actually supposed to believe she's had a complete about face here? Suddenly seen the light? She tells her she's here to take Marnie home. Marnie objects. She isn't finished yet. 

Gran growls, "Oh yes you are!" and races to Marnie to extract her spirit from Lafayette. 


Does it make any sense that Gran would be the one to be doing this? If it does and you're reading this, leave your impressions please because I'm flummoxed here. And IndigoBuni brought up a good point discussing this on the Sookieverse thread. "Why didn't Antonia do that when she first showed up ... or any of the other ghosts?"


Now here's an expression of Paquin's I've gotten tired of. I know, I'm sounding very burnt out here. "Gran?" she says in disbelief.


Her blackness is wrenched out by Gran and pitched to the ground, reforming as Marnie who continues to protest that she's not ready to go. Antonia tells her she was trapped between worlds for 400 years, driven mad by her rage. She doesn't want the same fate for Marnie. I'm hearing Effie White in DREAMGIRLS singing "What about what I need?" 

Antonia tells her life is about suffering but soon all she has endured will be meaningless. Come into the light, Carol Anne! Antonia promises her peace while the vampires will be stuck in their suffering on earth forever.


Suddenly Marnie erupts in a high pitched, resigned wail. 

"BRAAIIIIIINNNNNS!"
Gran comes up to her in applause. "That's right honey, let it all out cause there's no room for that where we're going," she shares. 

"Come with us. We made cookies."
Now I have to confide something myself ... Gran scares the shit out of me. She is scary. Something about the greyness of her face, the unknown, maybe it's her teeth? All she needs is a rotted nose. I am expecting her to rip Marnie's guts out with superhuman strength. Or her skin to start falling off in chunks. Fiona turned out to be terrific in the role but she needed to look like this to be frightening. Maybe I've read too much Stephen King.

"This fucking sucks," Marnie grouses and Antonia takes her hand, admitting, "Change is hard" and they go off into the sweet oblivion together. 


The only schmaltz missing here would have been for the happy reunion of Marnie's parrot to flutter over to her and land on her shoulder as they go over the rainbow bridge together.


Sookie approaches Gran who had evidently intended to walk away without a word to her granddaughter. "Please don't go," a teary eyed Sookie entreats. And Sookie is reading from the wrong season's end script. "I'm so lost," she starts to say and I am rolling my eyes, turning around to my sister watching with me, both of us recognizing the words. 

AGAIN, Ball? 

Sookie cries, she doesn't know what to do. This woman seriously needs to grow the fuck up. This is ridiculous. But wait, wait. I shouldn't be so cruel. For her, last season is only about two weeks prior so this is just the same run-off of emotion.

Gran gives her no concrete answers. "The answer is in your heart." Sookie should scream, "THIS IS NOT FUCKING OZ, YOU IDIOT! AND I DON'T HAVE RUBY RED SLIPPERS TO CLICK THREE TIMES AND WISH MYSELF BACK TO KANSAS!" 

What Gran says next, though, smacks of Charlaine Harris and not Alan Ball, frankly. CH is the one who doesn't write HEAs and let's remember that SVN was originally SVM and she hadn't planned a love story. "Being alone, it ain't nothing to be afraid of. We're all alone when dead." 


Well isn't that a heartwarming thing to tell your young granddaughter who needs your guidance. But then again, what the hell is wrong with Sookie? Now's her chance to ask things like, oh, 'Is there a God? What is in the afterlife? How could you not tell me about Fintan and what should I wish for with the cluviel dor you left me?' Sookie watches Gran shrug and waddle off and she starts to cry once again. The only thing saving this scene and keeping it in the here-and-now is that Claudine is dead and won't be appearing attempting to lure Sookie into faeryland once again.


Tara runs to Lafayette, rousing him, asking him if he's okay and we hear Eric, a tad impatient, complaining, "Excuse me, we're feeling a little crispy up here!" I suggest trying the Cajun honey mustard dipping sauce with them, it's deelish! And speaking of Cajun ...


Cut to Arlene complaining about being overworked, as usual, as she takes out the garbage at Merlotte's. Surprise! Surprise! Rene is waiting for her, head cocked in the semi dark, "Oh Lordy, aren't you a sight for sore eyes!" You think the posture is to remind us Sookie nearly severed his head with that shovel as she killed him at the end of season one?

He's not here to harm her, he assures her. He's here to warn her about Terry and the ghosts of his past that aren't going to rest forever. Arlene should be asking him why he's talking in a Cajun accent considering he's not Cajun and had to learn the accent in order to disguise his serial killing past. Try . Or maybe the writers forgot about that?


Is Arlene seeing him because of that veil thing Holly spoke about or does Arlene have some psychic powers of her own (heaven help us) that are emerging? He tells her to run just moments before Terry comes out looking for Arlene. 

A swash of red, a glimpse of thigh, a lock of hair in the dark, we see Jessica racing like Vampy Red Riding Hood to Jason's house as Nirvana's WHERE DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT plays in the background. She knocks. Jason is in a foul mood. The "little shits" egged his house again and he's got no candy. Jason, that's WHY they egged your house. 


She appears in a lacy red camisole and garters and she's so gorgeous all Jason can think of to ask is, "Is this another dream?" She sees his black eye and he explains he told Hoyt. "Did you hurt him?" she questions carefully. "I didn't touch him," Jason replies. "Invite me in," she says lustily and Jason leers at her over his frozen popsicle stick.


She is a gorgeous alabaster white to Ryan's more ruddy tones, a goddess in layers of red, still clutching tightly to her breast in yet another moment of camera shyness. Someone needs to tell this actress how beautiful she is. The lighting, the feel of this is awkward for me and I feel her discomfort. This wants to be sensual but again comes off too staged.


"I don't want to be your girlfriend," Jessica flushes. Its music to Jason's predatory ears. Jessica is asking for the kind of relationship Jason is most comfortable with—non binding sex. Still he tells her he wishes she'd told him that up front before he took an ass kicking. He still should have had the ass kicking. 


Jason said it was the right thing to do, Jessica remarks since when does he do the right thing and Jason touches her face lightly. "You don't know me very well." He starts to pull away and she reverses their position. "Fair enough," she returns. "Can this be enough for now because I don't want it to stop?" He thinks she's dangerous but he's hopelessly ensnared in her web.

One more observation here about this scene before we move on. I guess Jason's old stained couch is a step up from the back of his truck, but jeez, the guy does have a bed. I wouldn't have been surprised for Jessica to have found a crushed beer can in these cushions. Very unsexy.


More of Pam's unhinged behavior. She's raging in Eric's office wondering where he is. Ginger is with her wearing a Red Cross costume. Why doesn't some vamp get rid of all the awful bite marks all over her breasts, neck and arms? It's such a mark of uncaring. Sad really. Ginger tells Pam Sookie had called earlier looking for him and Pam explodes. "I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! FUCK SOOKIE!" She swipes everything off Eric's desk and then grabs a chair, hurling it to the far wall where it splinters violently. 


"I've been with Eric over a hundred years, I've watched him seduce supermodels and princesses and spit out their bones when he is finished. How can someone named Sookie take him away from me?" she cries, collapsing to the floor. She's crying blood tears this time. Ginger goes to give her comfort and Pam tells her don't dare touch her but Ginger is persistent, throwing her arm around Pam who accepts the hug in the manner it was given.

I was so happy to hear Kristin Bauer was going to be a regular this season but I am saddened to see this wonderful role of hers used this way. She's been written as a vamp with no progression to her character arc. She is a feral, self serving, sneeringly complacent woman who has no tonal quality.


Lafayette is in Tara's bedroom at Sookie's and he's bereft. He blames himself for Jesús' death. Tara tries to tell him they'll get through this just like they've gotten through everything else. They've always been there for each other, nothing will change that.


Okay, here's where I think I need to end my association with the series. Here's the second most unbelievable moment in the episode. In the whole fucking series, who am I kidding? Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I present the second WHAT THE FUCK moment.


Sookie sits between Eric and Bill, arms extended, letting each feed from her wrists at the same time. I had to quickly check Eric's hair because he's acting like he's wearing bangs all over again, staring at her moon-eyed. I am praying she doesn't orgasm here because I will be mortified. I have friends reading this recap, people who know me, who know me outside of this fandom, and I won't be able to bear their laughter at this tripe.


Played for laughs? The vampires are pricking their fingers on their fangs as they finish to brush their blood against their puncture marks to heal her wounds. It almost looks like they're cleaning their teeth. Seriously, I am embarrassed for every fan of the books here. This isn't even near our books, this is not the intent ... and when fanfic has done ESB menages, they've written it a lot more sensually than this. 


Bill says heatedly, "You saved my life, both our lives." In her tiny voice, Sookie responds, "It was my turn." Eric thanks her too and she smiles. "You don't have to thank me, I can't imagine a world without you in it." Both vamps stare at her longingly. She rises. She can't do this anymore, it's like being ripped in half. No matter what she does, someone is going to get hurt. This is about the time I realize Eric and Bill are wearing identical robes. They look like Hugh Hefner smoking jackets. All they need are pipes. I start laughing and tears roll down my eyes.


Bill is the first to react. He stands to tell her he wants her happy and if being with Eric makes her happy, she has his blessing. He tries to hide his true feelings as Eric rises to approach Sookie, his large hands stroking her face. Eric is elated and acting like a child given the key to a candy store.  "See, it's okay, Bill is fine with it."


Eric is going about this all wrong. "Bill had his chance. He blew it, he lied to you," is not what she needs to hear. It is unfathomable that she retorts, "To protect me ..." So when he didn't tell you he had been in cahoots with the Rattrays to beat you near to death so he could get his blood in you, that was a loving gesture, Sookie? Are you CRAZY?

She reaches out to Bill and tells him she forgives him. She is crazy. She is certifiable. She tells him she knows he's loved her as much as she's loved him and they've both hurt each other just as deeply. Eric is astounded. So am I. Just how has Sookie hurt Bill as deeply? Is there any sort of comparison here to what he's done to her?


Eric's expression says it all as she asks Bill's forgiveness. 


Move aside, dog. That damned animal beat me to it again.

Bill reaffirms Sookie is the love of his life. Pay no attention to all those other women, Sookie, and you can be sure Bill won't be telling you about them anytime soon. 

She turns back to Eric. She admits it wasn't just the innocent Eric she fell for but the Eric who under his vicious and untrustworthiness, has goodness that breaks her heart. She's always wanted him. He is practically aglow with happiness as Bill listens stoically. "You won't be sorry," he whispers. She cuts him to the quick saying she already is. The time together was unforgettable but it's over.

It's probably for the best. Maybe Eric can regrow the balls he's lost this season.


She steps away from both of them. She sees this only ending one way, with her walking away with neither of them. "Don't do this," Eric begs. "Sookie—" Bill pleads. She's making the right decision for all of them, she protests, and tells them not to stop her. She leaves heartbroken, both men devastated with the loss of her as well. 


Season 5—Alcide? Quinn? God, not Quinn. I've given up. There is no hope. This has gone down a ludicrous path and I want no more of it.


Lafayette wakes from a troubled sleep and feels the presence of Jesús in the room. He breaks up. "Look what I've done to you," he frets. "Don't worry about it," Jesús replies smiling. "What do you mean don't worry about it? I killed you," Lafayette argues. "Everything's temporary," Jesús insists mysteriously. Then he suggests he probably would have gotten cancer and died in a bed with a nurse who doesn't know half the things he knows. This is a very ... weird reaction to dying, wouldn't you say? He was young and healthy and he's thinking if not now, when?

Jesús leans down to kiss Lafayette. Laf begs him not to leave him and Jesús smiles. "Dude, I'm dead and you're a medium. I'll always be with you."

A male friend of mine confided later this scene got him teary eyed so it wasn't only women who were affected by the tragedy that befell this loving relationship. I suspect in Lafayette's long life, Jesús was the only man who loved him with all his heart.


Holly has folded up her wings and is leaving Merlotte's. I guess she went back there for her car after rescuing Bill and Eric. "Miss Cleary!" Andy calls. He's carrying a big bouquet of flowers once again. He apologizes to her, explaining he had been a drug addict and that's why he screwed up their date the way he had. Holly is uncomfortable with the disclosure and Andy understands, he comes with a lot of baggage, but he tells her he wants her to know that he's sober, lonely and can be good to someone if they let him. 


He starts to depart and Holly calls him back, asking if he would give her a hug. He grins, holding out his arms. She goes to him and Andy envelops this human faery in his arms as the camera pulls back and away. 


We're on the other side of the restaurant now and Sam is kissing Luna goodnight. He wants her to stay but Emma is probably not ready for it so Luna begs off and he watches her depart in her car.


A growling sound surprises him and he turns to find a were staring him down. Not that I care much about Sam's storyline but this could be one of Marcus' pack members seeking to avenge his death. Or maybe it's Sergeant Patrick Devins who we know nothing about yet. Maybe it's just a hungry wolf craving some of Big John's Hot and Spicy Cajun Chili on the Merlotte menu. Or maybe ... oh seriously, do we really care?


Jason is the height of urbane chic with his Miller Lite pillow seated over his genitals. Jason is surprisingly insecure about their carnality saying if she didn't like it he can take direction. Jessica suggests next time maybe they could try oral and you know that pillow just shot across the room.


We discover his insecurity is that Jessica isn't staying. Jason ponders Hoyt's accusation that part of him is missing and that's why she's leaving, She assures him he's exciting and has the sexiest hip bones she's ever seen. Well, compared only to Hoyt ... but seriously, the man maintains 6 pack abs and you're hung up on his hip bones? 

She's leaving because she's hungry and taking his blood would be more intimate than she's ready to be with him. Jason feels the situation out. She's going to glamour a total stranger and feed off him. He's fine with it, comparing it to a hooker unwilling to kiss her John. Jessica suggests they roleplay that sometime and Jason replies that she's like no other woman he's ever been with and he's been with a lot. Jessica is flattered by the horn dog's confession. She leans in to kiss him and her fangs drop down. She chalks it up to low blood sugar but I remember a prior season when it was lust she couldn't control.


She leaves with a kiss and almost instantly there's a knock at the door. He laughs. "I knew you'd be back," he says, flinging the pillow aside as he strides confidently to the door. Swinging it open, he is shocked (as are we) to find Steve Newlin standing there, preppy as ever as he hungrily takes in Jason's nakedness. 


"Trick or Treat" he says, and drops down his fangs. Why Jason, why Bon Temps, why now? I'm pleased as hell to see the return of his character and this alone would intrigue me enough to watch the first episode of next season ... but just barely. The Reverend Newlin as a vampire opens up lots of potential for laughs, frankly. I am dying to see Eric's reaction when he finds out his nemesis has been turned, too. I just hope he isn't shortchanged by Ball and his marauding pack of writers and killed off quickly.


We're in a garage and Alcide and a foreman are talking. Alcide is asking when it happened, the foreman has no idea and Alcide realizes the guy has been glamoured. The foreman doesn't understand why a vamper would want to glamour him or dig a hole in a parking garage. 


Oh don't even try this, Ball. BULLSHIT. Hear me? B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.

They are trying to tell us THIS:

    was THIS:


    And to THAT I say THIS:


    We're in an underground parking garage. Perhaps these are for the steel columns for the garage although even that is questionable. Look at the original support holes. They're very deep. They're huge squares. Support holes are used to secure a structure's walls to concrete slabs and foundation walls or to fasten steel columns to concrete piers. Do you see this layout in the garage? No. We did not see Eric and Bill below ground standing over a pit. They were at ground level. That is not how a parking garage gets poured. We do see Alcide and the foreman passing a parking support that is clearly labeled B. Below ground level. The area Russell has made his escape from is the floor of level B. IMPOSSIBLE.

    What we have, yet again, is a cheap ass way of resolving a writer's dilemma. How do we bring Russell Edgington back? Let's forget what we did last season because getting the vamp out of a building's foundation would have been a difficult write.


    Lest anyone not get the moment, the music that shared Russell's mental collapse plays as Alcide examines the broken silver chains. So much for Sookie being independent of her vamps. They're going to be the only ones to keep her tasty faery blood safe from Russell.

     He's baaaaack!

    I've got one more issue with this scenario. Russell is somehow released of his bonds and the foreman has seen it. It's been a year and a month since Russell fed. How the hell is the foreman still alive? Wouldn't Russell have drained the guy dead in a heartbeat? He should be ravenous for blood. But with that more plausible scenario, Alcide wouldn't know this had happened, would he? I am wondering if one of his V-addicted Weres finally caught the scent and decided to free his benefactor.

    Anyone else not see Nan's death coming at the end of this season? I predicted this from the get-go. Nice to get it right.


    Nan is about to enter Bill's residence when he opens the door for her himself. He's been expecting her, he says. Eric strolls in. "Hi Nan, and gay stormtroopers." Nan grimaces. "Perfect. Two birds, one stone." She is belligerent and provocative, humorless and trenchant.

    She doesn't care that the Marnie situation is resolved. Eric tells her she should be kissing his ring at the leadership Bill showed. When the hell did this bromance between the two vamps start? It's ... unnerving. Can we forget Bill was going to kill Pam AND Eric this season? Nan, ever sarcastic, says "Why bother? When your tongue's already so far up his ass!"


    She's on a roll and we find out her rage is because she quit was fired from her job. Not only the AVL but the Authority. Bill and Eric assumed she was coming there to terminate them and she tells them yes, an order has been issued on their heads and it had been her last duty to carry it out but she refused, knowing she'd follow. She's been alive for 816 years, she spits, and she refuses to be retired like a fat first wife ... or like an actress who won't do nude scenes on True Blood.

    Her reason for her appearance is revealed. She's mutinying against the AVL and the Authority and she wants Bill and Eric to join her. She reveals there are factions inside the regime that have never been completely on board with the current agenda. "Sheriff Northman knows what I'm talking about," she says and Bill glances at Eric questioningly.


    What's in it for them? Oh Nan, here's where you make the fatal mistake. You threaten them with Sookie. 816 years old and you can't read these vampires enough to know they'd do anything to protect Sookie. You already know Bill has outright lied to you about her. Add it up, you shrill bitch. But no, you run heedless, you simply cannot stop the taunts. When they say nothing, you goad, "Oh come on! The mind reading, the microwave fingers—you didn't think I knew what she was?" She tells them there are at least a thousand vampires who would do anything to get a taste of her blood.

    Bill plays it cool but his eyes are hooded and dark, his lips are a thin line of menace. Everything tells you he's poised, a coiled viper about to strike. Go ahead, she doesn't belong to either of them, he tells her. Eric agrees. She smells great but it's not worth dying for. Nan, notice the ceremonial box with the silver stake behind Bill is open. Nan? You listening?


    She jeers that she's seen how they both look at her, like hungry puppy dogs, slobbering over the same juicy bone. There's a momentary tremor in her face, she's so enjoyed the sharp dagger of her words. Enjoy your moment, Nan, because you will get a pointed answer from Bill in 3 ... 2 ... 1


    Eric strikes first. He races to the guards she's brought with her, decapitating all three. She turns to observe. "Fucking—"


    And Bill is on her, stabbing her in the chest with the ceremonial silver stake he'd intended to use on Eric not all that long ago. She erupts into a geyser of blood and is no more. Nan was staken ... not stirred.


    "We are not puppy dogs!" Bill burns. And the final female power figure in his life has been eliminated.


    And as Eric comes forward to look at Nan's ropey remains, he says coldly, "What a bitch." Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead.

    There's story here that's only been hinted at by Nan and is certain to be revisited next season. It concerns who Eric knows in high places and what he knows that has protected him up till now. This information affects not only Bill's fiefdom but Eric's continued residency there. It's not all bromance between the two vamps who are able to cast differences aside to work together when facing down enemies like Russell Edgington and Marnie Stonebrook, but still regard each other with a good deal of distrust. I noted Eric has returned to the sarcasm he uses when addressing Bill as someone with power over him. Bill has been aware Eric has not been forthcoming about his politics and connections and now has been made cognizant it goes deeper still. Eric knows about the inside dealings of the Authority and this could threaten Bill's power. Then again, after tonight, I am thinking they both have become renegades. When the AVL finds out what they've done, how do you think they will  handle Nan's assassination by the hands of the two they'd signed death warrants for? Bill may lose his kingdom.


    Throw into this quagmire Russell's reemergence. The AVL has spent considerable effort and finances the past year plus trying to undo the damage Russell Edgington's 2 minutes of airtime effectively had in setting back the great vampire revelation practically to square one around the globe. With these secret factions fighting from within and the AVL and the Authority needing to coordinate efforts to find and kill Edgington once and for all, Bill and Eric may be given Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free cards to lead the attack. I imagine this will be at the core of season 5 for the vampires.


    Cut to Sookie coming home to a darkened house. She can hear a TV on and calls out to Tara, wondering if she's still awake. She is in her kitchen as she goes to open her refrigerator and hears the sound of a rifle being cocked. Just look at what they've done to Debbie inside of a week, maybe two. The dark eye makeup, the dark roots now several INCHES long on her scalp, the biker wear. She looks like a deranged Joker. I'm expecting her to say, 'Why So Serious?'


    Sookie asks her what she's doing and Debbie replies, "I should have done this a long time ago." Sookie is holding up her hands as Tara enters the dining room and observes what's going on. She doesn't think twice. She lunges into the room pushing Sookie out of the way just as the gun goes off.


    She gets shot right in the skull, a fume of blood erupting into the air. Glass explodes into a wide arc as the bullet continues its trajectory and smashes through Sookie's glass cupboard.


    Sookie screams for Tara and then lunges at Debbie, easily taking down the full-blooded Were as they wrestle for control of the gun. She positions the gun against Debbie's chin and we hear Debbie beg, "Oh no! Please don't!" I find myself still sad for this woman! This isn't the Debbie Pelt in the books. This is a woman who could not stop her own slide back into addiction when Sookie returned from faeryland a year later (and once again into Alcide's life) and undermined all the work she'd done to pull herself up. Her fragility, her low self esteem, her inability to hold still and work through her pain moves me. I can't help but find in me a small regret for the inevitability and rightness of her death.


    The gun goes off, splattering Sookie with Debbie's blood. She doesn't waste a minute; horrified, she drops the rifle and runs to Tara, leaning over her mortally (?) wounded friend. Sookie grabs her up in her arms pleading for her not to be dead.


    "Somebody help!" Sookie cries. And we know two vampires nearby who will do just that. They both owe the girl now. HAS to be. I don't, for a moment, believe Tara is being killed off. And where is Lafayette through all this? He couldn't be sleeping through all that screaming.

    So the question begs, how will Tara come back? Will she be turned as a vamp? Who would be her Maker if she's turned? Wouldn't THAT be ironic for such a vamp hater such as she. Will she be healed somehow by Lafayette perhaps channeling Jesús' abilities? Lafayette is a medium, not a healer. It looked like a chunk of her head blew off, though I could be mistaken. I played that back several times and can't say for sure. I can't think of anything but vamp blood and a shitload of crazy glue that will help right now.

    I believe she will be hanging around in some form, corporeal or otherwise.

    R.I.P. Tara, May the Force Be With You.


    And R.I. P. Jesús. Vio Con Dios. Unlike Tara, I will miss you since I know for sure you're dead. Sadly, you had no paranormal markers you could call in to save you.



    A Few Unanswered Questions To Mull
    • Who started the fire in Terry and Arlene's home? Can't have been the Creole woman who only wanted her bebe. So what was that all about?
    • What happened to the V addicted Weres in Mississippi last season?
    • What happened to Yvette and why didn't Eric go after her to get his money back last season?
    • Does Jessica find out she's been given an unauthorized promotion and when? 
    • When did the curse Marnie put on Pam actually end?
    • What was the point of Mexico, the grandfather and Jesús getting in touch with his personal demon? What was the point of introducing the pregnant spouse? Capturing the snake in the field? This whole storyline bogged down episode after episode and to what point?
    • Did Timbo ever get the ice chest fixed? 
    • How many women in HotShot are carrying Jason's baby?
    • Will Barry ever get out of faeryland? 
    • What happened to Claude (or whatever he will be renamed by Ball if and when he reappears) since Mab saw his treachery?
    • Why didn't Earl appear in the graveyard?
    • Has Jason sold Earl's pocket watch on eBay yet? 
    • Does Bill and Eric's renegade behavior now put them both on the AVL's most wanted list? What will happen to Bill's kingship?
    • For that matter, what happened to Russell's? Who was given his territory when he disappeared?
    • Did Kitch get that scholarship?
    • Will we ever get an explanation for all that blood Arlene expelled while pregnant?
    • How will the blood bond between Eric and Sookie play out now that it's tainted by the addition of Bill's blood exchange?
    • Where is Hadley and Hunter?
    • How long do vamp puncture marks stay red on a neck? When does Hoyt heal?
    • When does Alan Ball get Bill out of his ass long enough to do some serious character work on this show?



    This is my last recap, readers, for a number of reasons. One, the show. That, in itself, should be enough of a statement. I see no reason to subject myself to another season of this tedium. I'm done. That's the main reason. Some good will come of this ... by no longer watching, I now have access to my own bathroom again and the dog is no longer fighting for the use of the bowl.

    Two, the sheer amount of time it takes to pull this off each week is draining in a way you can't conceive. I don't lead the life of a regular fan who watches it once and then moves on to something else. The only way I could think to do a recap was scene for scene and that's a lot of labor, especially when you despise what's being done to a book series you love.

    Three, to attempt to examine this from the point of view of a bookie is fruitless. It is now so far out in left field as to be completely alien. This no longer bears resemblance to the books or the nature of its characters and I can't spend recap after recap ranting about what is plain to see—there is no comparison anymore. True Blood has usurped the names and location of Charlaine Harris' book series but the similarities end there. In making these choices, the TV show has lost my interest and my respect. 

    Four, I really don't know who is reading me. When I think about the fact I'm spending a full day and a half+ on this each and every week and there's so very little feedback, I have to draw a conclusion that a lot of readers don't agree with me and don't wish to make waves saying so. The stats show hundreds of people on the site looking at the recap yet the feedback is negligible (and don't get me wrong, what I get is very gratifying and nourishing.) Outside of begging, I know of no other way to invite discussion-dialog-argumentation. 

    I know blogger doesn't make it easy to leave feedback and post. Use anonymous and add in your screenname or link to your LJ or under Name/URL put your FFNet account and link it to your profile page. Make sure your browser is set to accept 3rd party cookies if none of these work in allowing you to post. You can delete them afterwards!

    Maybe in someone else's hands this recap might get a wider circulation. So I am stepping down and put notice out that the site will be looking for someone to step up to the plate for next season. If you're interested, let us know. I would consider an on/off thing for the recaps, that is, someone doing alternate or miscellaneous weeks if the idea of doing 12 episodes back to back is too daunting, but we'd be doing it under a different banner because, repeating myself now, this series has absolutely nothing to do with the books. Maybe we could even get 12 people each to pick a week and do their own recap to keep this site strong. Again, let us know. I'd hate to see this effort die with me.

    Finally, I don't do it alone. I owe thanks to a number of people for helping me consistently. Thanks go to scribeninja for her invaluable aid. To Buni and Nyah for PMing me their thoughts. To the women of the Sookieverse—GaijinVamp, seamstress, tradermare, Victoria7401, Duckbutt, ehee, ToonMum, herm73, misscyn and others who have commiserated and argued and laughed at the lunacy of this past season with me. To Meads for my masthead and her encouragement. To Phaedrus for all the audio clips he'd drop everything to make on the spot just because I asked. To kittyfangs for two seasons of awesome graphics and especially for that marvelous scoreboard and the posters this season. You people have my heart.  

    Thank you for your time, your interest and your laughter. This is nycsnowbird, bidding adieu.

    NOTE • NOTE • NOTE • NOTE • NOTE • NOTE • NOTE • NOTE • NOTE • NOTE

    In the next few days, I will be posting a contest based on this season's recaps. The prize should engage enough of you to come on back for details. Stay tuned.