Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Let's Get Out Of Here S4E09

Let's Get Out of Here (aka It's a 10 Car Pile Up We Can't Take Our Eyes From)
Written by Brian Buckner

Here we go again ...

When last we met, Bill was being silvered by a cross and Holly was throwing silver chains around him. Remember? Just a week ago, gentle readers; I know we all try to put distance to the episodes after we see them. I have a screenshot so you know you weren't going crazy:

So he's down. He's been silvered, chained. He's not going anywhere.

But no, this is Alan Ball's universe where silver means nothing to Super Hero Beeeel. Beeeel can break through the power of his chains and help murder his Maker and this season he can race over, Ball's hero that he is, and grab Sookie from Alcide's arms because only Beeeel, only he, can save her with his blood.

 Honest to God. Really.

I can understand Alcide's fury, can't you? 

And so there is Bill giving Sookie MORE of his goddamn blood! Will this EVER end? Yes, let's have Sookie confused all over again and thinks Bill isn't such a bad guy after all. What the hell. A murder attempt means nothing in the scheme of true love, does it, Sookie?

I feel INFURIATED this was dropped into the storyline in a method I find irresponsible. Bill's blood will continue to wreck havoc on Sookie's ongoing effort to create some distance to him. Doesn't Ball and his crew get that Bill's betrayal is unforgivable? Just what IS the message they present here to dimwitted women who keep excusing what he's done (some of which is based on the insanity that the actors are married in real life so that should somehow forgive the violent means of control in a TV script)? Is it okay to allow a woman to be bludgeoned to near death because it suits a vampire's purposes to get his blood in her? 

Alcide watches as Bill feeds Sookie his blood. Note to makeup artist: Less white, please. Moyer looks so much older than everyone else and when you see him without the makeup, he looks so much younger. 

Bill says they should pray. "Werewolf and vampire," Alcide huffs, "who's going to listen?" 

And just wait a damned minute. This was the totality of the witch war? One of Antonia's followers gets eviscerated; a follower gets flung into the sky and probably will suffer a bad back, at least; Sookie gets shot; Eric gets nabbed and everyone decides to go home because the fun went out of it—or what? Seriously? That was a war? Why weren't more humans taken by Bill's brigade? Shouldn't they have been taken and arrested, at least? Get them off the street so they'll do no more harm? Does it make ANY SENSE AT ALL that Bill's SWAT team let every single one of them go? 

Nyah wrote me her thoughts on this and said, "in the internal world of the show, those are the only characters anyone cares about so everyone else just got bored and went home since no one was paying attention anyway."

At the Moon Goddess Emporium, arguments are escalating over the smarts of Antonia bringing Eric back with them. Holly is enraged. Eric stands like the character Lurch from THE ADDAM'S FAMILY waiting to do her bidding. (thanks for that one, misscyn!) "He is under my control," Antonia explains. She intends to hand him a mop and have him do the bathroom floor and be useful around the place. That or maybe get rid of some of the spiderwebs around the ceiling.

Tara brings up a good point. Antonia was offered an olive branch and didn't take it. Why? Because she's not looking for peace, just extermination, Tara. Antonia wants everyone to join hands to cast a protective spell against the vampires once more. She shows the group a flyer for tomorrow's Festival of Tolerance gathering and says she will be there to make her own statement against the vampires. Tara has had enough and so has Holly. "Marnie," Holly begins, and Antonia shrieks, "MY NAME IS ANTONIA!"

Many in the group have had enough and start for the backdoor which slams and locks in their faces. Okay, now we're channeling CARRIE. They never should have made fun of her—watch for those fire extinguishers gang, they're murder!

I am getting the idea that Antonia's madness is going to set back Wiccans a few hundred years by the time the dust settles here.

Back to Beeeel hovering over Sookie. She's made it. Sookie is only interested in knowing where Eric is and both she and Bill ignore Alcide who plaintively points out she almost died and yet again it's because of her association with the vampires. She doesn't even thank him (or ask what he's doing here) as he leaves disgruntled. That was utterly bitchy of both of them. But in her tiny voice, Sookie does thank Bill for his blood. 

Cut to Luna who has just put Emma to sleep. Luna is scared, so is Emma and Sam suggests they all go camping. Makes sense ... out in the woods, no protection, easily scented by an angry Werewolf. Luna thinks it's a great idea and goes to get ready.

Alcide sneaks back into his home and into bed with Debbie who has been waiting up for him, feeling the sting of his betrayal.

We need to follow this ...

closely ...

you all still with me?

 and as we slowly follow Alcide to bed ...

and slowly watch him get in ... 

(pssst! Buni, get up off the floor girl!)


ALAN BALL you couldn't give us a few more seconds of this before you cut away???? He nuzzles Debbie affectionately. Like she wouldn't smell Sookie on him? 

Are we to assume the VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED eyes are for those moments when Weres are angry?

Jessica should know better than to confide anything to a woman wearing leather. She's telling Nan her story of woe and Nan responds, dryly, that there have been times she's considered giving up her career to become a Maker but she knows after these last several hours with Jessica she's erased those doubts forever. Jessica is mortified. "You're nothing like you are on TV!"

Bill enters. Nan explains with the festival happening so early tomorrow, she thought it was best she went to ground with Bill. How ... homey. She attacks Bill. "What have you gone and fucked up now?" Keep it up, Nan. He's not going to abide your behavior forever.

All three vamps are now chained down for the day. Wouldn't they want those overhead lights off to try and lull themselves into sleep? Nan is shocked to find out Bill let Eric live. He's just full of surprises and she appears to be just full of anger. He wants to postpone the festival, suggesting it's possible Eric has fallen under Antonia's influence. Nan refuses. Crews from CNN, VTV, Fox News (of course), and bloggers from across the country are already outside the hotel waiting. "Blame the witches," Bill suggests, "America has had no problem doing it in the past." Nan is disgusted. Bill makes her long for Queen Sophie-Anne. 

She wants to know how he let her come to this. Bill won't take the blame, she's the one who let it come to this. "Bolster security if you want to, but tomorrow's Festival of Tolerance is going forward." This reminds me of the Mayor of Amity saying to Chief Brody that the 4th of July weekend is going forward as planned, damn the shark.

Through the caramel color of half drunk liquor in an open bottle, we see Hoyt's house in shambles. We're meant to see he fell asleep on the floor in an alcoholic stupor. Hoyt sits on the couch only to find a CD of Jessica's poking him from the back. Time to clean house. He throws her Urban Decay Black Palette eyeshadow kit, her TWILIGHT novel, loads of CDs, the Good Housekeeping October issue with Nan on the cover as well as some other magazines into a box along with her clothing and hair products and labels the box FOR YOU, MONSTER. I guess there's no going back after this.

I love details like this!
He goes to get something from the refrigerator and Lafayette comes in with Mikey. I called that right. It IS Mavis' old house. Now will we find out Mavis had something to do with the Bellefleurs?

Lafayette pulls a gun on Hoyt and demands he get out of his house and Hoyt goes running out without his pants.

Meanwhile, Jason is investigating Mikey's disappearance at the Bellefleur mansion with a distraught Terry and Arlene. A frustrated Arlene gripes that they're dealing with amateurs and will have to find Mikey themselves and starts turning over couch cushions, unearthing a vial of V Andy supposedly forgot about. An addict misplacing a vial? No way. Andy makes a quick grab for the vial. He is upset his gun was stolen while Terry reminds him his son has been stolen. Jason answers his cell phone. Hoyt tells him Lafayette just walked into his door with Mikey and a gun. He wants him to bring him a pair of pants while he's at it. I am getting the impression this storyline is coming to a close. THANK THE MAKER.

Andy goes into the hallway to take a big swig of what's left in the vial while Jason forces Arlene and Terry to stay put. He drops the pants he was going to bring to Hoyt.

WTF. I mean, seriously, what the fuck? Sookie is having a sex dream. You can tell by the gauzy filter (which I toned down considerably with Photoshop's unsharp mask filter). And embarrassingly bad music. She's napping on her couch in a red lacy nightie and black stilettos (I always take naps in mine), it's daylight and there's a knocking on her front door. Why, it's real-Eric and he enters her home and pulls her into a clinch.

 Anna Paquin is so short that even with stilettos she is on her toes trying to kiss Skarsgard.

The dream devolves into a nightmare of Alan Ball's invention when Bill appears in the middle of Eric's lovemaking to tell Sookie she never stopped loving him. I can hear the collective screams of bookies across the world at this moment. Bill is the poster boy for dysfunctional relationships. We want a strong, enabled Sookie, not this girl who cannot create distance from a man who has done her so much harm. She is everything mothers want their daughters not to grow up to be. Where's Dr. Phil when you need him?

And there is Sookie sitting on her dining room table channeling Michelle Pfeiffer in FABULOUS BAKER BOYS, looking like the three of them are about to do a new Entertainment Weekly cover. Eric asks if it's true, Sookie says yes but he gave her his blood. "And he gave you his," Bill reminds her. Sure, 175 year old vamp blood overrides 1000 year old vamp blood given to create a BOND. I buy that. Eric stands, fangs out. "I'm ten times your age!" "And I love her 20 times as much," Bill counters. Well, only if you don't count Portia, Katie and whoever else you've been banging for the last year. Yeah Bill, we all buy that.

Evidently, the legs on display wasn't enough for the dream. Sookie slides off and saunters into her living room, demanding the two men in her life follow. If only to have that this-is-supposed-to-be-sexy-in-a-campy-kind-of-way-music end, I'm happy for the next scene.

Except that it's Tommy. It's daytime and Tommy is at Merlotte's writing Sam to tell him he's leaving. The implausibility factor is off the charts here. Were Sam there, they'd have come to blows. The ONLY reason for this placement is for Marcus to come in and look around menacingly for Sam and Tommy to think he can do this one favor for Sam, be Sam, and maybe Sam will forgive his trespasses as we forgive all who ... 

oh nevermind.

You know, one of the things that drives me crazy about this series is that there's no cause-and-effect. Just what happened to Maxine's clothing and pocketbook? Did Tommy return them or will she be out her QVC card now and be unable to buy new dolls? 

Marcus is surprised Sam has a shifter brother. He hands him a business card for a bike shop and wants Tommy to let Sam know he'll be waiting for him there tonight. And if he doesn't come, there'll be a bigger problem on his hands than he already has. And as Tommy picks up the business card you just KNOW he's going to skinwalk. The threat is implied. Come to my shop so me and a coupla fellas I know can kick your ass in. Right. Sure. This will be the one time an idiot goes alone.

Andy and Jason have pulled up in Jason's truck. Hoyt wants his pants. Priorities, Hoyt! Andy has, of course, forgotten them. Andy pounds on the door and is greeted by a racist, "You sound like a white man, you!" Andy is livid as Jason reminds him protocol is to defuse the situation. It's personal to Andy because Lafayette broke into his house and took his gun. 

Andy busts the door down and sprawls against it, looking up at an armed Lafayette clutching Mikey. As he raises his gun to Andy, Jason demands, "Don't even think about it, Lafayette!" Laf fires one shot and misses Andy and Jason and Andy come flying out the door. They make it back to the cover of Jason's truck (what happened to Jason's good truck? With Felton dead, why didn't he ever go retrieve the thing from Hotshot?) in time to see Arlene and Terry pull up. Arlene goes running to the front door. Why are you doing this? Lafayette tells her the name is Mavis. 

Terry tries to run around Arlene to reach Lafayette ... er, Mavis, but Andy throws him down, effectively pinning him with his V strength in order to protect him. Terry isn't having any of it. He yells that Andy is only jealous because he has a wife and kid and Andy has nothing. Andy reels from the low blow.

Luna and Sam and Emma. An idyllic moment in the sun. Emma is chasing a bunny to join her shifter Barbie entourage and Sam is looking for a pat on the back for thinking all this up. Emma thinks it would be wonderful if she grows up to be a shifter rather than a werewolf so she can be her own bunny and pet herself. Why isn't she just the cutest most precocious little tot? Where's my dog in the toilet bowl photo?  

And Sam decides to shift into a bunny just to give her something to pet. As he ... goes between her legs ... and cuddles softly against her ... oh GOD! eye bleach! STAT!

Back to the dream. Now the music is the theme from PICNIC by composer George Duning which is an odd choice here but maybe Ball was striving for its sensuality. All I can see is an overaged William Holden (37 at the time) playing the 20-something love interest to a very young Kim Novak who winds up leaving her rich boyfriend, Cliff Robertson, for him at the end. I've linked the dance number on youtube for those interested. For 1955, this dance number was erotic beyond words.

But I digress ... 

More appropriate music.
Sookie just can't decide between the vamps in her life. So what's a modern girl to do? Ball went out on his own limb here with this one. (Someone please hand me a saw!) She proposes that the two vamps be hers rather than her having to decide between them. This is beyond stupid, embarrassingly penned and I feel so removed from the feel of the books now I might as well be watching VAMPIRE DIARIES.

'When a woman tries to have her way with two men she is totally, completely in love with ...' STOP!!! Someone stop me from throwing Sookie into a wall here. Enough is enough.

As both vamps go to bite her, Sookie wakes from her nap and looks around in the daylight. Right now a reality moment would be nice. Something like Sookie saying, 'WHAT THE FUCK?' This is beyond incredulity.

And a word that will probably make me a bit unpopular but I'll say it anyway. Anna: EAT. She's on the Skarsgard diet, apparently. There is a point where thin becomes too thin and she's reached it and now is starting to look gaunt.

Almost a year straight, Debbie is found buying V off a dealer in a back alley. He's telling her to take it one drop at a time and she almost laughs in his face as she grabs it and chugs the entire contents down in one gulp. Alcide's secretive life appears to have done her in.

Meanwhile another V addict is coming down off his high. Andy is losing it and puts Jason in charge of the hostage situation. Jesús pulls up in his truck. Arlene has called him, hoping he can talk sense into Lafayette. I laughed out loud here. Jason asks Jesús if, when they roleplay (as surely homosexuals must), if Lafayette ever turns into a woman named Mavis. Jesús tells him angrily, "I am going to forget you just said that and I'm going to head on in!"

Terry is talking flank positions, his head back in Vietnam and Jesús has to remind him he's a nurse. He approaches the house. Mavis appears to have changed a modern day diaper. Really? Where did it come from? Hoyt sure doesn't have them in his house. Did Mavis grab a diaper bag when she left with Mikey? Would she know what one was? Seriously?

Mavis points the gun as soon as she spots Jesús but he offers to help, saying he's a brujo and wants to help. He tells her he thinks she's dead and her spirit cannot find rest. He forces her to recognize she is in a male body and the baby she's seeking is actually dead. She'll be at peace if she can just hold her baby one last time.

Debbie has pulled up at Sookie's. She preps, practicing a smile in the dashboard mirror and then leans over to grab something in her glove box. I feel sooooo played here. We're all expecting a gun, aren't we? Even the background music is telling us to be ready for trouble. Most times I feel like Ball is not playing for the bookies but CLEARLY this moment is for us. We're waiting for that rifle and he knows it. So she shows up on the doorstep and she's got a hand behind her back. Sookie answers the door, scared. 

She brings forward a bouquet of Gerber daisies instead. harharhar, Mr. Ball. Good one. (not)

And then Debbie is sitting at Sookie's kitchen table, pouring out her heart about Alcide. She tells her she knows Sookie is in trouble and wants to help. She wants to try to make things better between them. Sookie reaches for her hand and listens in on her thoughts, discovering she is on the level and deciding to trust her. Good thing this is True Blood—in the books, Sookie would not have been able to glean much of anything from a Were. "I believe you," Sookie smiles.

Debbie is elated, this is a breakthrough she's been anxious for. Sookie does her an act of kindness in return. "He loves you," she confides and Debbie is near tears in resuscitating gratitude.

We're back with Jesús and Mavis. Jesús is confidently handling this situation which is confusing considering he has been helpless up till now. Mavis holds the doll and gives an account of the moments leading up to her death. Her lover stabbed her to death. She remembered watching him start to shovel a grave outside under a tree and then she left her body, unable to take it anymore. Why she waited over half a century to reappear looks like it's never going to be mentioned.

Jesús gets her to hand over Mikey to Arlene who grabs him ecstatically. Terry tells Lafayette they still love him and "sometimes these things happen." I'd like to ask Terry about these times but I'm just so glad the demon baby storyline is winding down I just want to move along.

Alcide is at Marcus' bike shop and tells him he wants in, he's ready to kiss the ring and move up. He's doing it for Debbie, he explains. Marcus is impressed. He likes a man who will do anything for the woman he loves. Thinks it makes him more of a man. Marcus enlists Alcide to stick around for when Sam shows up. He professes he only intends to communicate with him that he can and will hurt him if he doesn't back off from his woman. Alcide agrees.

Andy is sitting in the truck deflated and miserable. He apologies to Jason and Jason tells him his apologies don't mean shit because he's heard them too many times. He tells Andy to throw on the high beams so the crew working to dig up Mavis' bones can see what they're doing. Hoyt hits paydirt with his shovel. They find not only the baby's bones but those of Mavis side by side. Jesús lifts the remains of the baby to Lafayette's arms so she can say goodbye. He touches Lafayette, chanting, who starts to glow.

Where did all this knowledge come from all of a sudden? Did Jesús' grandfather or ghost uncle or whomever give him a transfusion of power?

And as Leeloo ("Multipass!") turns her head up to save the planet from impending evil and releases her Divine Light ...

Oops. As Lafayette releases Mavis to the hereafter, she stays a moment longer before Lafayette to thank him for everything. Lafayette, his demeanor as usual so courteous and deferential, tells her, "You got it, bitch" and she's gone. All are astounded—as are we. A ridiculous, S T U P I D, pointless storyline is over. I swear if I had to hear that damned French lullaby just one more time ... Arlene and Terry, pick up your paychecks. See you next summer. 

Debbie is fulfilling her promise to Sookie. She knocks at the Emporium's front door, showing Antonia the secret handshake (glowy feral eyes) so Antonia will be occupied discussing the advantages of having a werewolf alliance while Sookie climbs in a window to find Eric. Antonia's quasi followers (looks like the only one still drinking the Kool-Aid is Roy) are asleep. Does anyone else have a problem that not one of these idiots thought to climb out the very same window and try to escape while Antonia wasn't looking? Only the door appears to be spelled. 

Eric is standing in the same room we last saw him retreat to. I guess his janitorial skills were not wanted after all. He tells Sookie he's been ordered to kill Bill at the rally. Tara interrupts their reunion with a gun, forcing Sookie into the main room. She tells her she's behaving stupidly and asks if she's even listening to her and then tells Sookie mentally they're all being held hostage and she wants Sookie to charge her to dislodge the gun. Antonia is beside herself, Sookie is valuable, she wants her captured. Roy is shouting over and over "Shoot her! Shoot her!" and you just know Roy's going to wind up dead before season end just because he is such an unforgivable shit.

Sookie runs at Tara whose gun goes off wildly and Sookie makes her escape through ... HEY! through the same spelled doors. So what the hell is going on? Is the spell only for Antonia's followers? And why didn't Sookie make that dash with Tara in tow? Not that I want Tara around any more than necessary, but it doesn't make sense that Sookie races out of there with nary a thought of her oldest friend in the world.

Antonia turns around and realizes Debbie is gone and she's been duped. "Fucking werewolf," she grouses.

Here's a moment I didn't get the jist of. Debbie gets into her car and is scrambling for the keys and sees Sookie in her rear view mirror. Is she relieved or annoyed? She says 'shit' and mouths 'fuck' as Sookie comes running up to the car. Her face does not wear the expression of relief. What IS going on there? Sookie tells her to get to the Shreveport Dorchester where she's learned from Tara that Bill is at. She has completely forgotten about Tara's predicament.

Meanwhile, Antonia pulls Eric from the room she's stashed him at and tells Roy he's coming with them. Roy is gleeful. Antonia casts a new spell on the doors, closing them shut on the now very much ex followers. Tara and Holly decide to get the hell out of there only to find the doorknobs are molten hot and Tara shrieks in pain as she grabs one. A similar shriek is heard as one of the others try the front door. Pssst ... windows???

This is one of those scenes where HBO needs to kick in some dollars for CGI. The Tolerance Festival has maybe a hundred people in the ballroom, if that. I guess Ball took whatever Warner Bros. employees he could find that night. And it shows. If this is supposed to be something that's being covered by the media, where are all the people? For that matter, where's the CNN and Fox news vans? If HBO had sprung for a keg and some KFC, I bet they could have gotten a lot more bodies to show up.

I love the product placement here. 1-800-DENTIST has a booth on the left. There's a casket factory booth too on the right side. Bill is not pleased there are so few vampires in attendance. 

Hoyt and Jason are putting the finishing touches on his door frame so no ghost mommy is going to come through looking for her ghost bebe anymore. Jason notices a CD and asks if it belongs to Hoyt and he's told no. And does it strike anyone as odd that that's the CD that started the monster box compilation to begin with and it's not in the box first?

He asks Jason to put it in the monster's box and take it to the Monster with the rest of her stuff as he swings by home. Now ... I always thought Jason's house was a distance from Sookie's and Sookie's was at the end of town just before the cemetery. Bill's house is behind the cemetery. Have I missed something in the translation? Jason will be going out of his way to drop off this box. Jason is embarrassed and guilty about the situation as well he should be and tells Hoyt he doesn't want to be involved but Hoyt insists.

Back at the campgrounds, Sam is surprised when Luna enters his tent. He's been reading by flashlight. Luna bends down to kiss him. A different Sam across town is making that meeting at Marcus' shop. Alcide answers the door and I already don't like this. I don't want to see Alcide mixed up in Marcus' business. Then again, it is always a pleasure to see the hotness that is Alcide.

Tommy swaggers in as Sam and finds Marcus has a bunch of Were buddies in attendance. Marcus comes right to the point and demands Sam stop fucking his wife and Tommy says Sam never has but Tommy has every which way. 

Marcus' eyes flash yellow and then he's on Sam in a heartbeat and I am unhappy to see Alcide watching but not stepping in to break up this unfair fight. Tommy is being held down as Marcus takes his punches. This scene is juxtaposed with Sam and Luna finally coming together rapturously in his tent. 

I am understanding how Tommy could fight over and over in the ring. The same swagger probably has saved his life many times over. It's all he knows and it's all he's able to give Sam by way of apology. Alcide finally steps in as Tommy falls to the floor. He's furious that Marcus gave his word and Marcus barks that Tommy mouthed off to him. One of his friends gets one last good kick in as Tommy passes out and he cannot retain the Sam shape any longer. 

Marcus realizes who he is and tells his guys to get him out of there. Alcide growls and pushes them aside to pick Tommy up himself and head out. I am interested in following where this leads. Does Alcide dump the body? Doesn't seem like he would. Does he bring him home and tend to him? Doesn't seem like Debbie would approve or Tommy would allow it. He doesn't know where Tommy lives although I would think he knows where Sam does since Merlotte's is one of the few waterhole/eateries in Bon Temps. I keep thinking Tommy is such a lost soul and can't imagine Ball putting in the effort to develop more character storylines for him.

WHAT is up with those rolled up pants, dude?
Eric zooms in to the front entrance of the Dorchester hotel where the Festival of Tolerance is taking place. He waits to make sure the other vamp sheriffs see him and leads them on a merry chase where they think they've cornered him in the kitchen area. 

But no, he's led them into a trap. Antonia is there, chanting to incapacitate the trio while Roy looks on giddily. "This is great!" he gushes. I'd like to see him gush blood soon. He's really grating on me.

Jason knocks on Bill's door holding the monster box that he's taken the time to mark out the offending words on. Where are Bill's guards? Oh COME ON!!! Just because Bill's at a rally is Ball really suggesting the mansion has not a single guard on duty? Nan evidently doesn't think Antonia is a problem while they're at their rally. Unbelievable stupidity. Or Ball's budget is so low he can't afford extras or even recurring guest stars. Jessica takes the box unhappily. Jason asks if she's okay and she asks if he wants to come in but he declines, saying it wouldn't be a good idea. Music starts to come up under the scene and yep, sure enough the next moment finds Jason and Jessica having sex on the floor of his pickup truck. 

All the bedrooms in Bill's mansion and they choose the grimy, dirty back of a pickup truck? I don't care how much a man loves his truck, isn't having sex with a woman with a chainsaw in view kind of in poor taste? This is laughably ugly. I don't know about you but I can't get over the trailer-trash low-rent kind of feel of this. And then I can't laugh because this is Jason and he knows Hoyt's heart is broken and he shouldn't be doing this. Jason who admits every trouble that's ever found him has been because of sex. Jason who I can't imagine being gentle with a virgin.

Blood or no, this is wrong on every level. Hoyt doesn't deserve this, it paints Jessica as feral. If she's unhappy, as she says, she should stay away from Hoyt's best friend where the repercussions of what they've done will haunt many.

One more thing here. I don't mind at all that Deborah Ann Woll wants to refrain from nude scenes even though she has a gorgeous body and I think she is easily the most beautiful woman on the show. What I'd like is for the director who is handling moments of intimacy between her and another to make it look realistic. Having the shot show that her dress is pulled down to her waist while she clutches her breasts to shield them from view just looks adolescent. A good director can shoot the scene less awkwardly going for sensuality rather than sexuality. On second thought, maybe that's impossible if you work for Alan Ball.

Cut to Debbie dropping Sookie off at the front of the hotel and Sookie dashing in to save Bill. Nan introduces him as one of the most generous benefactors the state of Louisiana has ever known. She calls him an entrepreneur and philanthropist. It sure as hell wasn't his money being doled out to create that senior center or for the rehab of his mansion. I am having a very hard time staying with the scene. I can't get over the lack of guards, the lack of vampires present and the obvious hostility between Nan and Bill. If this was well done, this could be a very taut scene.

We see Roy and Antonia watching from a draped balcony across from the stage. So much for security. 

Farther back, Eric is also watching the proceedings from similar cover. This is beginning to have a feel of Lincoln watching OUR AMERICAN COUSIN while Booth waits in the wings for the appropriate moment to shoot him. I'm expecting Eric to scream "Sic semper tyrannis" as he leaps to the stage.

LOL. You know what this could also be? Something out of THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE. I can see it now. Nan is the Angela Lansbury steely cold blooded bitch who throws her own son under the cart for her own political ambition, Bill is the political dolt of a husband. Eric is the brainwashed son played by Laurence Harvey with the rifle in the balcony taking aim. I think that makes Sookie the Frank Sinatra character. Oh well.

A voice rings out. "BILL!" He recognizes it at once as Sookie and Nan is seen rolling her eyes mumbling 'Jesus Fucking Christ!' 

As Sookie tries to make her way through the crowd, the sound of the vamp sheriffs under Antonia's spell gutting Bill's human guards is heard. The audience starts to scream. Bill looks on aghast. What a political nightmare. The vamps throw the guards to the floor and race away. The audience is panicked and running like steer for the doors. 

Above the din, we hear Sookie warn, "They're coming for you, Bill!" and we see Eric launch himself into the air towards the stage as we get a closeup of Sookie on the floor screaming "RUN!"


So what's left for us this season? Of course Eric doesn't kill Bill but is there anyone there right now who can contain Eric so he doesn't go back with Antonia who will plot for another day? We need to see Lafayette and Jesús use their newfound powers to fight Antonia or why would they have been any reason to go all the way to Mexico to spend time with the grandfather? Hoyt is going to find out about Jason and Jessica and god knows if their friendship will survive it. 

Jason should be neutered. Is this character ever going to grow into manhood?

Andy needs an intervention. Tommy needs to be forgiven by Sam and I am hoping it won't be on his deathbed. Marcus needs to step down because he's too emotionally wrought to be a good packleader. I frankly don't care what happens to Sam or Luna or her child. At least Arlene's storyline is finished for the season and from now on she's only background material. Alcide really doesn't have his own storyline yet and it's a pity he's being used the way he is by Ball and his writers. Eric needs to get his memory back and I'm interested to see if Ball will opt to give him some retention of what he's missed or wipe it out completely which will leave Sookie back in Bill's clutches. 

Merlotte's needs new employees! Think about it:
  • Sam was away camping with Luna
  • Sookie has been fired and as far as we know not been rehired
  • Lafayette was indisposed with Mavis
  • Arlene was with Terry all day trying to get Mikey back, then stayed around for "the miracle"
  • Holly is a prisoner of Antonia's
  • Jessica was at Bill's moping about until Jason showed up.
So who working Merlotte's?!

Three episodes left and we know Russell Edgington returns for season 5 so perhaps he'll be putting in an appearance at season end. Where this rollercoaster ride goes for season 5 is anybody's guess. Ball has picked the bones pretty clean and looks like he's going to have to be more inventive since he's destroyed the base he could have used as a launch point for next season. God knows what that will mean.

This Sunday:
As all hell breaks loose in Shreveport, Sookie summons her most potent powers yet to save Bill, in the process breaking a spell and leading Marnie/Antonia to re-evaluate her mission. Jason urges Jessica to glamour him for Hoyt's sake; Terry drags Andy to "Fort Bellefleur" for an intervention; Alcide reconsiders his allegiances after Marcus fight with Tommy; Jesus, accompanied by Sookie, Lafayette and Jason, tries to breach the Moongoddess Emporium's defenses to liberate Tara and Holly, while Bill leads a brigade of vampires committed to blowing the place to kingdom come.

till next week, this is nycsnowbird feeling exasperated and disenfranchised ...


  1. The little kid and the bunny thing was creepy. Free beer for everyone at Merlotte's!

  2. Yummy yummy... now I want to make a .gif of those Alcide pics. Thanks Nyc!

  3. Worst Episode Ever. Scoot over pooch...make room for one more at the toilet.

    I don't even have anything to say about this episode. You hit the nail on the head with every one of your points, nyc.

    Big heaping spoonfuls of appreciation and gratitude go out to you for having to watch this crap over and over to give us(bookies)a voice with your recap. Thank you.

    I can't decide if I want to finish out the season or not. I think I'm done with True Blood. It's a shame. It could have been a really good interpretation of CH's books. Remember Season One? WTF happened?

    Again...THANK YOU, nyc, for all your hard work and dedication.


  4. Oi.... I've read all your reviews and love them. I will continue to read and support you NYC, but I am so done with True Blood. I can't seem to understand where AB is coming from. I get that that he wants something different from CH but to what extent. TB is no longer about Sookie Stackhouse or all those other unique characters we have taken in to our minds and hearts.....Eric especially. This is about how much blood, sex and gore AB can get in to less than 50 minutes each week. Where are the complex emotions that are created in the relationships to each other? It gets all lost and totally confusing. It more than a train wreck, its like a tsunami where you don't get an inkling of what is going to happen, then it hits you, only to leave total devastation.

    Thank you for all your hard work it is much appreciated

  5. At times I feel like there is some awful undercurrent of social commentary in this series, but like most of the aspects of this show, I can't for the life of me figure out what it is about. But most of the time, I think it is just bad vampire version of a daytime soap opera with a bunch of characters we don't care about.

    Thanks for the recap NYC. At least you got to see JM's gorgeous body during the process!

  6. Debbie was giving Sookie up. When you watch her talking to Marnie/Antonia in the front she tells her Sookie is there behind her. It was a trap. She knew Sookie could read minds so was sure to think sweet thoughts. Apparently plotting someone's death doesn't bother her, the true measure of a sociopath.

  7. Your poor dog! All that throwing up can't be good for anyone. I enjoyed the recap. Not sure what else to say. I'm as disappointed as everyone else. I watched last nights episode with my husband and when Sookie's dream came on with both Eric and Bill, my husband yelled out, "I hope they don't make out." It was actually really funny. My hubby, who could care less about anyone's sexual preference, just wants Trueblood to be funny again. Don't get me wrong, he's a fan of all the boobs, but now he only watches it with because he knows he will be shushed if he tries to talk to me while it's on. It was such a good idea at one time and it has turned into something barely watchable. Sad, very sad.

  8. I absolutely love your recaps… I look forward to them every week. I am so happy you pointed out Bill magically escaping the silver attack to feed Sookie blood…. How did he do that exactly?!! Very convenient.

    This def wasn’t my favorite episode so far… BUT the silver lining is that the demon baby is gone!! *fingers crossed* I hated that story line from the beginning, but I think it took an even farther downward spiral with the ghostmama… I think it would have been better if somehow it was actually related to Renee rather than some random spirit. “If I had to here that French lullaby one more time…” SERIOUSLY. And honestly I am so glad that I’m not the only one that thought it was UBER creepy when Sam turned into a bunny so Emma? (who cares) could pet him. Yuck.



  9. Blahahahaa!

    I'm so tired of seeing Sookie with her mouth open. And yes, Bill's make up artist need to be canned.

    Thanks for the Alcide screen shots! That was really the best part of the ep.

  10. The worst episode yet!! That 'dream' was so cringe-y I couldn't even sit through it all! I agree with you that AP is too thin. (Not to mention her stomach is a little scary!)

    I was expecting (hoping) that Season 4 would be my favourite but the fucktarded-ness that is Alan Ball has ruined it.

    I'm only looking forward to the remaining episodes for your posts, nyc!

    I've read that RE makes an appearance in the last episode; I honestly cannot wait until Eric gets back to being a BAMF.

  11. this episode was horrible. maybe beyond horrible. i'm glad you pointed out the incredulity of bill escaping those silver chains. really? by day silver is strong enough to prevent vamps from WAKING FROM THIER DAYTIME REST and answering antonia's call, but by night it's nothing more than a parlour trick. bill wasn't even burnt when he got to sookie's! it's bad enough AB can't follow the confines of CH's world, he can't even follow the constraints of his own!

    also, i'm happy i'm not the only one who was revolted by AP's emaciated body during the dream sequence. soooo sad. another actress wasting away from the pressure of hollywood's idea body. it was pretty ironic that she dropped her robe to entice the vamp's into sharing (despite the fact that sookie would slap her own gran before that type of behavior) only to reveal a body that made me gasp in disgust. hey AB, sookie is a size 10, you ridiculous ass.

    my biggest complaint these last few episodes is that they have not addressed antonia's growing powers. the witches in the book have more "juice" b/c they're shifters drinking vamp blood. where is antonia's power coming from? a couple of episodes ago she needed a coven in order to cast her spell against the vampires. now she can keep her coven under lock and key and control 4 vamps all by herself with just a few (sometimes unspoken) words? she must be an uber-witch.

    and finally, where was eric all day? that little closet at the emporium wasn't light tight. he should have been all burnt up, or at least bleeding from the ears from having stood there all day. ugh!

    as per usual, your recap was great!

  12. Thank you for saying what we all feel. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that AB has ruined this story for us. In one scene he has Sookie so liberated that she can have two lovers, then in the next she is to stay with her abuser because she can't move on? I don't get it. AB needs to wake the fuck up and get back to the essence of what made us all love CH's books.

  13. I'm not watching anymore, but I'll continue reading your reviews, lol. The show is just a train wreck. What kind of message does the show send to women; go back to your abusive,lying boyfriend? Thanks for writing!


  14. Great job, as always, nyc!

    The more I watch this show, the more I don't recognize my dear sweet Sookie that I fell in love with in the books. This Sookie is vulgar and selfish--words I would never use to describe the Sookie we all know and love.

    Was I supposed to be turned on by the seduction of two men? One is a gorgeous but empty lump and the other a cruel manipulator. No thanks.

    I usually feel nothing for Tara, but here I felt sorry for her when her reward for helping her friend to escape was to be left behind and forgotten.

    I guess the show is all about the blood and sex and the visual rewards of an expensive production. But where are the characters I'm supposed to care about?

  15. You know it's pretty sad, I watched this show before I heard of the books, and now I can barely stand it. AB has Eff'ed it up so bad it's ridiculous. Not so much because of the changes from the books, but the fact that (as several others have pointed out) he can't even stay consistent to his OWN canon.

    His characters personalities shift dramatically because he wants to set up some sort of "drama". Ie - Hoyt went from being this sweet, gentle man to being cruel and vindictive. Pam resists DAYS of silver and torture with the Magister last season without giving up Eric, yet gives up his location this season because Bill got in her face and said "tell me where he is!" ETc...

    Like everyone else, I'm nauseated by the idea that AB is probably going to have Sookie go back to Bill after everything he's done. Especially now that he has his blood in her again. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if he had one of his snipers shoot her intentionally just so he would have the chance to get more blood into her so that he could influence her again. I certainly wouldn't put it past him. Doesn't AB realize what a slap in the face it is to suggest that a woman could have a "great love" with someone who arranged to her beaten within an inch of her life so they could manipulate her!

    I could rant on and on, but I'll stop here. Thanks Snowbird for your wonderful recaps and for giving all of us a place to vent our frustrations and laugh about it a little bit.

  16. Oh! I forgot to thank you (!!!!!) for the beautiful, fabulous, gorgeous, fantastic pics of Alcide! Aaahhh... I wish I could make those the background on my desktop, but my hubby would probably whine. ;)

  17. Wonderful recap, NYC. I right there with you this time. This episode was just utterly dumb. I can't defend it. I'd love a do-over. I'd like a confused, brilliant, and/or bold screenwriter to compose a script featuring no one but Debra Woll. Well, except I'm so grossed out by next week's episode blurb that has Jason asking Jess for a glamor that I might be sick watching.

    In the future, I'd like to see True Blood subscribe to the Game of Thrones rule of nudity which states: All passages of exposition should be softened with nudity/sex to distract the audience. Granted, in true Blood's case I make this request because I'd love a sex scene, for once, to leave me with some thought other than, "well, that was a terrible decision."I could do with some exposition.

  18. This is the first time I've read one of your recaps, and I enjoyed it! That puppy picture is adorable and so fitting.

    My only gripe? Vampire Diaries is a better show than True Blood. It has better writing, tighter plotting, likable characters, and the pacing is excellent. The first 6 episodes were ridiculous but it completely changes tone after that. And this is coming from a Bookie who has watched TB from the beginning. TVD has NEVER had such a horrid and cringeworthy scene as that E/S/B threesome. (I realize that TVD is geared more toward teens and TB toward adults, and maybe that was the point you were trying to get across. I'm just jumping in to defend it because I feel like a lot of people write it off as such without bothering to watch it.)

    I am so over Alan Ball's Beel boner. At this point I don't care if Sookie and Bill end up together because she's so insufferable and weak. The whole time Bill was trying to give her blood and it wasn't working and they were like "What do we dooo?!" I was thinking GO TO A HOSPITAL! And ITA that it makes no sense Queen Bill's 175 year old blood would overpower Eric's 1000 year old blood, but this show always forgoes logic and continuity in favor of "Beel/Sookie 4eva!!"

    It's annoying that Jason/Jessica began very cute a few episodes back, and it would have been better if there was more lead up but of course the writers had to ruin it by throwing them into that stupid sex scene. I disagree that Hoyt doesn't deserve it though. He called her names, preyed on her most vulnerable insecurities that she is incapable of changing, and then uninvited her. Everything he said was inexcusable and unforgivable. He hurt her in every way possible, so a little vengeance was called for. The "for you, monster" he wrote on the box had my blood boiling. I won't be sorry if he's one of the people who dies this season.

    I hope they stick with the books when Eric gets his memory back. Not being able to remember his time with Sookie sets up such delicious angst. Hopefully she chooses herself at the end of the season so she can get some perspective and grow up a bit.

  19. I haven't seen any of Series 4, but after reading this recap, I'm not sure if I'll bother to watch at all. TB seems like very bad fanfiction, or an exercise in how to ruin a good story. Seriously, are bookies going to be able to keep watching this show?

    I'm starting to crave a film deal that sticks to the books.


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